Self-Care and Losing a Body Part

WARNING:  This post is a little more vulnerable than usual and may contain TMI. 

 I'll be totally honest here, watching my Dad's health decline over the last few years before his death was really hard on me!   I struggled watching him suffer and I worried....A LOT...about what I could do to prevent some of the lifestyle related health issues in my life that plagued him.   In reflection, I think it might have even sparked a bit of a mid-life crisis in me (still ongoing).   

I've worked really hard over the last several years to make exercise a daily part of my life and to make most of what I eat nutritionally dense and minimally processed.   I'm not perfect at it, but I've come a long way and think that, for the most part, I'm doing my part to keep my health in check.  

Having said that though, I'm one who knows all too well that, despite all of our efforts,  health is often something out of our control.    I really dislike going to the doctor , but have been trying to make sure I'm covering my preventative health bases with a colonoscopy last year, regular teeth cleaning, doctor checkups, and yearly mammograms.   I haven't found a new dermatologist yet, but that's also on my list of doctors to find here in Utah soon.    

This past summer I started experiencing some unpleasant "female issues", which went beyond the normal issues that were inconvenient, but could be ignored.   A 9-centimeter fibroid was discovered, and,  as the summer progressed, my symptoms worsened (landing me twice in the ER) and it soon became clear that, there was no amount of healthy living that would make an ounce of difference in this case, and it was time for my uterus to be evicted for good.   

After a lot of back and forth, we settled on December 7th for the surgery date.   It was after my Christmas RS activity, after Cami's graduation, before Christmas enough that I'd have time to get over the worst part of my recovery before Christmas, and the timing gave me lots of happy distractions to keep me engaged while I was laid up.  

But, first, I had to squeeze in my yearly mammogram, which did not go as smoothly as planned.   I've been told that I have "dense breasts" ever since I started having mammograms, but the past few years, they've also become "cystic".    A couple years ago, they had to do a bunch of follow-up testing on the left side and that's what happened again this time.    Two days before my surgery, I had to go in for further imaging--including ultrasounds on the left side.   Once again, I was told that they were harmless cysts, but I'm glad it's been looked at and declared innocent.   Afterwards, I met Ellie and Emma at BYU and walked around in the snow with them.  

In the weeks leading up to my surgery, I experienced some pretty high anxiety and had to talk myself down from several "worst case scenario" trains of thought.   My state of mind was overwhelmed and scared, however,  the day before the surgery, I felt peace.   I'm sure that part of it  was just having the RS activity and the follow-up mammogram (both high stress things in and of themselves) out of the way, but it went beyond just that.   I definitely felt a peace beyond understanding that calmed my fears and helped me to go into the surgery with an overarching sense of  "everything will be okay".   

So I went in for my surgery at Riverton Hospital at 5:45am on December 7th.   Everything went more smoothly than even the doctor expected (meaning it was the least invasive form of the surgery possible) and I was pleasantly  surprised when I was cleared to go home the same day.  I ended up staying overnight because of some nausea, but it was nice to know that I could have gone home.  The doctor ended up telling me that I had a very "cooperative" uterus (at least that's what my post-surgery brain heard) and that it was unusual to be able to remove that enlarged of a uterus without making any abdominal incisions.  The pathology report said my uterus ended up  weighing about 500 grams and was 16 x 12 x 7 centimeters large.  

Glen has been in the middle of a very stressful season at work, so he headed home after I got settled in for the evening.  I didn't expect to stay long the next day, but we woke up  to several inches of snow that had fallen overnight and I-15 Northbound being totally closed for a oil tanker crash that had occurred overnight.   Eventually, Spence got off work and was able to circumnavigate around the closed freeway to come pick me up.   

It was nice to be home and to have an excuse to lay low for a while.  I finished up my Christmas cards and did a whole lot of online Christmas shopping.  

Kind people from the ward brought me meals for a few days and the kids have been knocking themselves out to be helpful ....

I was grateful for Zoom church on Sunday...

I enjoyed  texts with sweet pictures from Cami...

I always get a little giddy about fun mail, especially at Christmas time, but I  have to admit that my excitement level since my surgery has risen to the point that it could almost be considered an obsession....  

I smiled and laughed at some funny (and practical) gifts from my mom / sisters...

And one of my favorite parts of all were some  visits from old friends, especially since I am still searching for my people here in Utah and it felt good to feel loved and remembered....

It's been just over two weeks from my surgery now and my recovery has been surprisingly smooth.  My pain is lessening every day and I am happy to be able to walk a few miles every day now.  I'm definitely moving slowly and have to be cognizant of how my body is feeling, but overall I am pleased with how it's going.     

Only about four more weeks until I can lift heavy things and exercise more intensely again.  IN the meantime, I'm excited to have Emma home and for Cami, Garrett, and Lucie to arrive later this week.   It's nice to have lots of helpers in the house and to have a good excuse to let the little things go and just be.   

Merry Christmas my friends!