2. Thou shalt not make me to cleanest any part of thine house, insomuch that I likest it just the way it is.
3. Thou shalt not make thy name upon my Facebook page in a wall post or it shall be stricken off before thou can blinkest.
4. Remember the Saturday to keep it wholly for the purpose of mine rest. For in five days I have laboured diligently with mine brain and to grant unto me sleep is to shew mercy unto me.
5. Honour thy son's friends; that his days may be cool upon the land.
6. Thou shalt not kill my unlimited texting plan for it is the steadfast way of the rising generation.
7. Thou shalt not commit the unpardonable sin of leaving me to hunger for forty minutes, nay even forty seconds. Yea, thou shalt lay a store of food up for mine own purposes and none other.
8. Thou shalt not steal my playlist from upon the computer and try to makest me hear thy music. For insomuch that thou thinkest my music is raucous, thine music smiteth mine ears from off mine face. I ask thee is it good for mine ears to be smitten? Nay, I say it is not good.
9. Thou shalt not bear me to rise up and putteth away mine cell phone. Not even while I sleepest, for in the day that I do shall surely be the day when a lady, most fair above all ladies, shall text mine phone.
10. Thou shalt not covet mine full dance card, neither my manly lacrosse gloves, neither my mother of questionable humor.
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So fun that I can be the first to comment on a post by you! Maybe that is b/c I never check your blog until a million other people have. All I have to say is that someone has scripture jargon down! Good job knowing your teen and your thee's and thou's.
ReplyDeleteThat list gave me a chuckle. I was looking at my 5 year old, and his cute features....I realise his isn't going to be like this forever. Although I am looking forward to a towering teenage boy that can carry my heavy things for me...hehehehe
ReplyDeleteOh how true dear daughter! Afraid that you have perfectly described 99% of the 15-year old males in the land.
ReplyDeleteLike Steve Young once said about his teenage years after his seminary teacher taught them that "as a man thinketh, so is he"
He said that at Spence's age he thought about football, about girls, about food, about girls, about cars, about girls... He said that he was worried for a while that he might be a girl!
HILARIOUS Lara! Tom and I both had a good laugh. Tom thinks you must know the scriptures well to have written this post. (o:
ReplyDeleteSo funny, Lara! Lincoln and I are giggling! My favorites are 8 and 9 :)
ReplyDeleteI just laughed out loud at work. My favorite Lara post ever.
ReplyDeletehahahaha......thanks for sharing! I needed a good laugh!
ReplyDeletethat was hilarious! i love it! that picture of spence is funny, sleeping with his lacrosse gloves on and his cell phone nearby:)
ReplyDeleteThat's so funny. I wonder what my mother would do if I put something similar (but tweaked to a female college student's perspective) on my door?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs!
You crack me up!! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. My son turns 14 next month and I could have written those same commandments except I'm not creative and cool like you! Just last night I couldn't sleep because of all the noises in the kitchen (chip bags rustling, soda opening, ice cream scooping) so I marched downstairs at 11:00pm and lectured him about singlehandedly eating us out of house and home. Except for fruit and vegetables--those are safe.
ReplyDeleteBut what I want to know--has Spencer seen this post and picture yet? Because he must have a better sense of humor than someone else I know.
This post is 100% Spencer approved (even the picture).
ReplyDeleteThou shalt continue to write such posts as these, that thy comments may be numerous on the blog which though posteth.
ReplyDeleteOkay. Your scripture-ese is much better.
As always, Lara, how do you do it.
Oh, and Avery caught a glimpse of the picture and read it the post as well. He was almost laughing harder than I!
Well done!!! This one is a keeper for sure!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you are going through this at the same time that I am having to do it!!
ReplyDeleteNolan is laughing hysterically. :) This is great!
ReplyDeleteWow. A humorist AND a scriptorian? How did Glen get so lucky? Fabulous post!
ReplyDeleteSo Funny!! I can't wait for the apocrypha of Cami. What a fun, playful family you've raised. Thanks again for watching my kiddies. . .they are always bummed to leave your house. Canst thou please raise my children?
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