The January Swirl

After nearly 18 years of blogging, I have to admit that this blog is still a tool for me to sort through and articulate what's on my brain and lately it's been a lot.  January is a time when a lot of conflicting emotions and anxiety bubble up inside of me.    I think the reasons for this yearly turmoil  are somewhat complicated, including it being in the throes of the darkest/coldest season of the year, but upon reflection, I think  the bulk of these feelings boil down to three main factors: 

1. The post-Christmas let-down and this year it was amplified  by Ellie leaving right in the middle of it all. Our house just feels extra empty now.  

2. That New Year's pressure to do better and be better and wondering what that looks like for me. The holidays, for me, are a time of being a little more lax with exercise, habits, and food, and now I'm staring "getting back to it" in the face and it intimidates me.  Frankly I like being lazy and I like ignoring tasks I don't enjoy, but know that those habits will not yield the results I want long-term. 

3. Last, but not least, January 10th was the anniversary of Spencer's diagnosis with leukemia (13 years ago!!!), so this time of year brings back all sorts of fairly traumatic memories of everything to do with that.   In years' past, I probably could have been diagnosed with PTSD.  I don't think I'm there anymore, but I'm not sure I'll ever escape facing a hodgepodge of difficult emotions this time of year.  

So, that's where I'm at right now.  

In the midst of all this inner turmoil, I'm trying to devote a little more time each day to reflecting on the good parts of my life, of which there are many.  As part of that effort, I'm attempting to restart a habit of writing in a daily gratitude journal and to be better about expressing gratitude to the people around me.  And that's what's brought me to the blog today, to do a little post on some things that I've been extra grateful for lately.

So, here they are, in no particular order: 

My dining room window!    I think I missed all the greenness of the East Coast when we moved here, and have developed a love for houseplants since moving to Utah!  I love the splashes of green around my house and the challenge it is to keep them thriving...a skill I'm still working on!   The hanging plants were a gift from my friend, Jen C, and they were the perfect way to finish off this window.  It makes me super happy every time I walk by!  

My Valentine's decorations.  I think my Christmas decor has gotten a little overwhelming of late and it may be time to pare down on what we put up every year.   As such, I was kind of relieved to take it all down as soon as the New Year hit and pull out the Valentine's decor.   I don't have near as much Valentine's stuff (thankfully), so it gets mixed in with my everyday decor.  I like the way it all came together this year and I love the splashes of red, of which I don't use much of in my daily decor. 

Homemade sourdough bread (that I can't eat).  When asked why do I put effort into baking something I can't enjoy myself, I just have to acknowledge that I do it because it makes my family happy.  I also love the smell of the bread baking and the challenge of making something from scratch. 

Having the college kids home for the holidays.  I LOVED LOVED LOVED having a full house over the holidays and all that that entailed.  I liked cooking in bigger portions, I liked all the conversations, I liked the games, the puzzle, the treats I didn't make myself, and just plain being together.  Eventually I'll get used to the empty house {probably}, but in the meantime, I treasure every time we can gather.

Living at a crossroads.   One of my very favorite parts about living in Utah is living close to our own college kids and the college kids of people we love.   We get to see our nieces, Lauren and McKenzie,  as much (maybe even more) than we did when we all lived in Virginia. 

Pictures from our brand new missionary!  We eagerly look forward to hearing from her and seeing her sweet face each Wednesday she's in the MTC.   I pour over the photos and try to figure out what she's up to in them.  She seems incredibly happy. 

Family phone calls!   One of my favorite parts about having a missionary out, is the way it gets us to drop everything (whenever possible) and join in for a family phone call every week.  I think knowing that she has a limited time to talk makes us expend more effort to join in than if I were just trying to plan a perfect time in advance.   Honestly, it probably won't be too often that we're all on a call, but it is an extra treat when the stars align and it happens! 

Silly moments on the family calls.  Speaking of family phone calls, here's how that ↑↑↑↑↑↑ same phone call started out with just a few of us.  Lucie was being a bit silly and I thought it was hilarious when we all naturally mimicked her facial expression! 

A fun surprise.  The other day I got a notification that my brother, Pete, had Doordashed us a fun treat--gluten free cinnamon sticks from our favorite pizza place (Via313).  It was sent to thank us for driving Lauren and McKenzie to and from the airport.  We didn't need any thanks, but It was a fun surprise nonetheless! 

Last, but not least, I'm grateful for some much needed spiritual nourishment this past weekend.  Because of the aforementioned swirl of emotions in me right now, I  needed a little extra uplift.   It was stake conference and every single talk seemed like it was written for me.  Some people say that all the time with conferences, but that is definitely not my usual experience.   One of the themes was D&C 6:36 and seeking genuine connections...not just with God, but with each other.   It was a timely reminder for me as I sort through all the things in my brain right now!  

And that's all I have for now.  Have an amazing day! 

 

Memory Making in a Sandwich Shop

 I know this is all out of order, but I didn't want to miss blogging about this memory making experience that happened in the couple weeks leading up to Christmas.   There's a bit of a story behind this, so let me start with  a little background.

Basically, Ellie and Spencer had started joking around with each other about how each of them would do in an eating contest.  Ellie was adamant that she could keep up with Spence, who is definitely the least food oriented of our kids.    It all started off as sibling banter without any action, but before I knew it, research was being done and an eating challenge had been born. 

Emma, Glen (recovering from his appendectomy), and I knew we didn't stand a chance, so we just agreed to go along for entertainment purposes.  

We arrived at Sensuous Sandwich  in Orem one December afternoon...

  Basically, the challenge was to eat a 2-foot long sub sandwich in less than 1/2 hour.  Winners would receive a t-shirt that entitled them to free drinks for life.   This was the set-up...Spence, Adam, and Ellie with their 2-footers ready to embark on the challenge and Emma and Glen just ready to eat a casual lunch with their 6-inchers.   I, with my gluten allergy, could eat nothing there, so I was the photographer for the day. 

They all started strong, but it was clear from the very beginning, that the only one who stood a chance of doing this without serious pain was Adam.  

Ellie got in just over 12-inches before giving up...

After about 17 minutes, Adam finished all 2-feet of his sandwich before Emma even finished her 6-incher.  She's a notoriously slow eater, so we got a kick out of that. 

And Spence barely got his last bite in before the buzzer and forbade me from showing any pictures of him from those last few minutes.  I'll just say that it was a total slog for him and he was not enjoying himself towards the end!    Ellie was happy to concede the challenge and enjoy the fact that both boys got their free drink t-shirts.   

We only laughed a little (okay, a lot) when we saw what it said on the backs of the t-shirts!  Hahaha

With that, I think the food  challenge eating careers of all our children was begun and ended on the same day.     

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Fourth Time Around

They say that the more you do something, the easier it gets, but I'm here to say that that is definitely not true when it comes to sending missionaries out into the world for 18-24 months!   We are on our fourth time around and perhaps the actual process of getting them physically ready is a bit easier, but certainly not emotionally.    And when I say, "emotionally," I'm not talking about her.  This girl was as ready as they come.  As with all of our other missionaries, she was very independent with the whole process of applying and submitting her papers.   With her epilepsy, she had a lot more hiccups and hurdles along the way than our other missionaries, but she navigated them with poise, patience, and independence.   By the time it was time to drop her off at the MTC (on New Year's Eve), she was excited and ready.  

Me, not so much.   With her being my baby AND having an ongoing health issue, it felt like an even bigger leap of faith to send her out into the world, than with her older siblings.   Having said that though, we couldn't be prouder of her decision to serve a mission.  We do not pressure our children to serve whatsoever.   They grew up knowing that Glen's mission meant the world to him and they certainly know they come from a legacy of missionary service (5 of my siblings, 1 of Glen's,  my parents, and many great-aunts, uncles, and great-grandparents), but we felt strongly that the decision to serve their own missions had to stem solely from them.   It's been a beautiful thing for us, as parents, to watch them as they've prayed, pondered, and ultimately made the decision to step away from their schooling and social lives to serve the Lord completely on their own.  

I'll be honest, it was a really hard goodbye for me, but I wouldn't have it any other way.     

I'm glad she is where she is and I know she's going to change lives!  💓

A {Mostly} Predictable Christmas

Happy New Year, my friends!    I just dropped Ellie off at the MTC earlier today (and I will post about that later), but first I need a little distraction from my complicated feelings and wanted to do a little recap of our Christmas.   If you've been following along with this blog for very long, you can likely predict that the excitement level of this post will be somewhat low and the content fairly predictable, but I figure if you're still following along with this blog 17 years after I started it, you know what you're getting!  Haha! 

I already posted about our Christmas cards this year, but here is a glimpse of the the other Christmas cards I designed AND had printed (yes, I'm that obsessed).   The top ones were for Cami, who had a pretty crazy Christmas season of Garrett working nights most of the month, combined with a lot of sickness that knocked them out for a while (and required a couple of scary ER visits for poor Oliver with a case of the croup).    She knew there was no way they were getting out before Christmas, so we just embraced the New Year theme! 

I also designed and printed my Mom's cards. I felt a little badly that there were no photos of her with any other grandkids to include, but, to be fair, I asked everyone before throwing in the pictures of my family.  No one else had any to offer, so it is what it is, and my sister, H, and I  are already on a quest to do better this year  taking pictures with the other families when they come to town.  

Christmastime at our house always includes making a lot of goodies, but this year we decided to jump into the whole "neighbor gift" tradition that is very much a thing here in Utah.   We brought goodies to friends in other places, but with our ward being so compact here in Utah, it's much more of a widespread tradition and it's fun to see the creative gifts and treats that people came up with.   We opted for white chocolate toffee popcorn--a recipe I got from my friend, Lona, in PA.  It was easy enough to make in large quantities and we packaged it up cute and made about 25 deliveries on Christmas Eve. 

It was fun to spend an evening with my nieces, Lauren (at BYU-ID) and McKenzie (at BYU), before bringing them to the airport to head home for Christmas break.  They knew it was their last chance to see Ellie for 18ish months, so they enjoyed their time together! 

We almost dispensed with the Christmas Eve pajama tradition this year, but after some persuasive arguments from a couple of the kids, we pulled it together very last minute.  

I think everyone really ended up liking their Snuggies and I will be hard-pressed to dispense with this tradition before Ellie is home, so we will be keeping the tradition alive for another couple years at least! 

We couldn't find baby-size Snuggies, so we sent Lucie and Oliver pajamas in matching colors at least.    Garrett is a big fan of his, while Cami finds hers a little too toasty to wear much. 

To be fair, I can't wear mine to bed for the same reason, but I do enjoy wearing mine in the evenings and especially when I first wake up in the morning when the house is colder.   

I do have to admit that Christmas pajama photos are pretty fun and we've had a lot of epic ones over the years.  This one ranks up there with some of the best!  

After pajama opening, we did our traditional Christmas Eve devotional with songs and scriptures. My Mom, Heather, and Nate joined us for this part of the night.   You can find a printable version of the devotional books we use here.  We usually read all the scriptures and sing just the first verses  of the songs, then Glen finishes off the night with showing us this video and him testifying about how we can let Christ into our lives better. 

On Christmas morning, we made and enjoyed this delicious breakfast....

Emma made a gluten free version of our favorite Orange Breakfast Bread, I made bacon, and Adam and Glen made eggs and got the berries ready.  It was all delicious and I daresay we looked pretty cute eating our Christmas breakfast in our Snuggies!  

Later we opened presents, during which I took almost no photos.  But I did capture the beautiful Scandinavian heart baskets Emma made for us and we smiled seeing this sweet picture of Lucie, so happy that she got the only thing she wanted from Santa...some pink sparkly shoes!  

What else did we do?  

Ellie and I did some shoveling, since Glen is still recovering from his recent appendectomy.   Adam hit up some Christmas parties wearing this epic outfit. 

Speaking of epic outfits....Adam's BYU friend group were all looking pretty snazzy at this party!  

Oh, and this part of the post is all out of order, but I had to throw in something slightly unexpected for you.  This was a glimpse of our Christmas Eve dinner, ordered to-go from Cheesecake Factory.   It may look like alcoholic beverages on our table for the occasion, but, rest assured....

It was just a non-alcoholic butterscotch beer taste testing we decided to try!   It was our first time having butterscotch beer (besides the butterbeer from Universal Studios Harry Potter World).  I think it was pretty unanimous that it was all a bit too sweet for us to buy on any regular occasion, but #1 (the one we'd gotten from Costco) was the one we liked the best. 

 So there you have it...our very boring, but wonderful Christmas festivities.   These days I don't even want non-boring.   Having our college kids home, a missionary in the house, and my Mom, brother, and sister here was perfect.  The only thing that would have made it more perfect, was if Cami, Garrett, Lucie, and Oliver could have been here too, but we had {most of} them for Thanksgiving, so we will be grateful for that!  

Happy New Year!  

Ellie is a Missionary!

On December 15th Ellie gave her missionary farewell talk at church before she heads off to the MTC next week.  

She gave a beautiful talk and we had a good group of friends and family that came for the occasion.  

At the end, she bore her testimony in Spanish (such that it is at this point).  Afterward, we had an open house at our home, where we spent time with friends and family and served some of our favorite Christmas goodies.    (browned butter rice krispie treats, Grandma's cracker toffee, my {sort of} famous rocky road fudge, mint swirl fudge {a new recipe}, fruit, veggie tray, our family's favorite mediterranean dip, deviled eggs, crackers, cheese, and some fun soda {at Ellie's request})

I was terrible at taking pictures that day, but here we are with some of our good friends from Virginia who came. 

And one with one of our Thailand HXP girls, Sarah.

A few of the other people who came were the Durhams (shown above), Palmers (shown above), Bennetts, my 95-year-old Nana (shown above), my Uncle Buddy and Aunt Debra (shown with Nana), Glen's brother's family, the Rohrers (our neighbors), my sister and Mom, Rachel (Ellie's HXP trip leader from Malawi),  Bryn and Charley (more friends from an HXP trip), and a few other people I can't recall at the moment.

We very much enjoyed the opportunity to spend time with family and old friends and celebrate Ellie as she goes off into the world to be a part of a great work!   Later that week, we attended the temple together...

And on December 22nd, she was set apart as a full-time missionary.   

It's been an amazing experience having a missionary in our home for Christmas...

Her Christmas haul was filled with practical gifts, like shoes, dresses, a bag, and such that she will use on her mission....

As per tradition, we have a Christmas ornament we add to our tree for each of our missionaries for every Christmas they are serving.  It is tradition that these cute little ornaments are for the first year they are serving and we have a completely different ornament we get for their second Christmases.  We figured it was only fitting that Ellie have a Christmasy version of the ornament, since she started her mission two days before Christmas! 

 

Left to right they represent Cami who served in France Lyon, Emma during COVID in Salt Lake West, Adam in Portland, and Ellie heading to Ventura.    The height differences between them make us giggle and I love knowing that our collection is complete now!  

Hurrah for the love, service, and sacrifice that these missionaries make to bring the light of Christ wherever they go!   It truly is a great work that we are thrilled for her to be a part of...

 

...though I'm really really really dreading the goodbye in a few days when we drop her off at the MTC.  💗