One Winter Day

It was a gray and dreary day...

and I chose to wear one of my warmest, coziest outfits, which happen to be gray too...

so I figured a little POP of COLOR would make me smile all day! 

And it did.   

What else did we do that day?  

We read the longest chapter in the Book of Mormon and put our marking pencils to good use marking references to the Savior...

Then Adam and I gave blood again.

  

I try to give at least every January in honor of Spence (and the gazillions of blood donations he received during his treatment for AML).   It was Adam's second time giving and he did better this time than his first.   I'm glad to have a blood donating partner now.  Glen lived in the UK for too long and is barred for life from giving blood, and Emma's iron tends to be too low.   Now that Adam is 16 (and I take daily iron pills now), I expect to do this more regularly again! 

Then we came home to an afternoon of cancelled activities and a beautiful snowstorm! 

I love Virginia snow days.   It's nice to have a break from the routine in these dog-days of winter! 

So, what did your winter day look like?  

Happy Birthday, Spence!

April 30: 
In honor of Spencer's 21st birthday on Saturday,  here are 21 random facts about Spence:

1.  He's the only one of the kids who inherited my dark brown hair. 

2.  When he was in elementary school, he would read so much that I'd sometimes have to tell him to stop reading and go play outside for a while.

3. Spencer absolutely hates fajitas with a vehement burning passion.

4. Unlike the rest of the family, he does not have much of a sweet tooth.

5. His debate teacher in high school said that he was one of the most talented debate students she'd ever taught in her three decades of teaching.  I wasn't surprised at all by this declaration. 

6.   He's broken more bones than anyone else in the family (2).  

7.  He's got a gift with words.  

8.  He's spent waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more nights in the hospital than everyone else in the family combined.

9.  Because of how polite and funny he was, the nurses in the hospital used to fight over who had him as their patient. 

10.  He one time made his English teacher cry because she was touched by what he'd written in his essay.

11. In elementary school, he was obsessed with the Utah Jazz.  

12.  He played the clarinet through middle school, but hasn't touched it since then. 

13.  Spence is the pickiest eater of all my kids.  

14.  He has no natural propensity to stay organized in the slightest. 

15.  He isn't a fan of breakfast and often just grabs a glass of milk on the way out the door to work. 

16.  One of his favorite parts about homeschooling in 8th grade was the opportunity it gave him to learn to rock climb.   He hasn't done it much since then, until we just recently joined a gym that has a rock climbing wall.   Now it's one of his favorite things to do after work. 

17.  He's made me cry 10,000 more times than any of our other kids combined.

18.  We knew what we were going to name him several months before he was born.  

19.  When he was about 8-14 years old, he would  change out of his church clothes so quickly that most of us hadn't even walked in the door  from the car yet.  

20.  Spencer has a love/hate relationship with attention being paid to him.  On the one hand, he has gone to great lengths in his life to avoid being in the spotlight, but on the other, he definitely has started to seek to impress  the ladies! 

21.  He is a four-year cancer survivor!

We love you, Spence!   Happy Birthday! 

Recipe for Instant Panic

April 21:  

Recipe for Instant Panic

serves one

1 mom of a leukemia survivor 

                 +

1 phone call that starts off by saying "The lab just called about your daughter's blood test..."

                 +

1 nervous looking nurse who won't let you leave your son's well-child check-up without talking to the doctor about his abnormal blood test results

Serve it all up within 45 minutes of each other and VOILA!   Instant anxiety and panic.   Serves one.  

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Alas, you can rest assured, though,  that I would not be sitting here calmly blogging about it  if there was anything serious going on.    

Ellie's blood test had been incorrectly processed and her neurologist was just calling to tell me that she needed to have it repeated.     And several of Adam's blood markers were low by only a tiny bit, so I strongly suspect that it has to do with the tiny amount of blood they were able to collect from his finger poke.     

Lucky for me, my anxiety level is now almost normal again.    

Unlucky for the kids, they both have to have repeat blood tests.  

Breathe, Lara, breathe.      

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Almost 4-Years!

February 5:   

It's been 3 years and 8 months since Spencer was officially released from the hospital and declared in remission from Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML).   Today Spence went in for his first LONG-TERM follow-up appointment at the Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders.  It was a long appointment where in addition to the normal check-up procedures they do,  he also met with a social worker, had his heart function tested, and had a myriad of extra blood tests taken.   He was a little grumpy about having to fast for some of the testing, but I'll let you judge based on our faces at the end (shown in the picture below) what the result was...

Next appointment.... IN A WHOLE YEAR!!!

A Tender Mercy

Most of you know that on the evening of January 10, 2012, our world was rocked in a way we never expected when we learned that our then 16-year-old son had leukemia.   What some of you may not know, though,  is that earlier that same day I had one of the most powerful spiritual experiences of my life that, unbeknownst to me at the time, was actually preparing me for the storm that was to come later that day.     

I was reading  these words from a living apostle:      

“The most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love. God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him.”    

President Dieter Uchtdorf, “You Matter to Him,” General Conference,  October 2011

And listening to this  song: 

It was during this song that I was suddenly overwhelmed with the very distinct impression that God not only knew me, but loved me, and was very aware of me and my family.   I am not normally an emotional person at all, but this message of peace struck me with a force and realness that I had never felt before in my life and it took me several minutes before I regained my composure enough to continue with my study.   

Several hours later, in the moment when I took the fateful phone call from the pediatrician, it was this message of love and peace that flooded into my heart and I knew that we would be okay.   Not that I had any premonition that Spencer would be healed or  a thought  that things would be rosy posy, but that wherever this new challenge took us, that God was in the details and in the end we would be okay.  That powerful experience on the morning of January 10th four years ago, literally carried me through the next several months of Spencer's illness.  

It's been four years now since that fateful day, but  it is still with trepidation that we approach the anniversary of Spencer's diagnosis day each year.  So many of our memories of Spencer at his sickest were in those weeks right around Christmas and I still feel my anxiety about his health rise this time  each year.  

This year, January 10th fell on Sunday and I intentionally kept myself busy in an effort to distract myself from what day it was, but still it was there niggling in the back of my mind.  Although there is not anyone at church who could have possibly known what day it was or what this particular song would mean  to me on that day, I was totally taken off guard when I heard  the bishopric member announce the intermediate hymn for the service.    

 God knew.   

It's a children's song with a simple message, but its message is powerful and far-reaching.

It brought comfort to me four-years-ago and brought comfort to me again this year.  

God is real and He loves us. 

And I am grateful for that reminder.  

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Our 2015 Month-by-Month!

Here's a glimpse of our 2015 broken into month-by-month highlights!   Read to the end to find my big announcement. 

January--We found  super cheap plane tickets to CA and introduced the kids to their first taste of DisneyLand!

February--Cami got accepted to BYU!

March--Spence's Make-a-Wish trip finally came through and we all went to NEW ZEALAND!!!!

April--Emma went on her 8th grade trip to Turkey!

May--Spencer hit his 3-year mark of being in remission from leukemia!

June--Cami graduated from high school, gave the valedictory speech, received several scholarships, and in general left HS with a bang!

July--I spent my third year in a row at YW camp!

August--road trip to Idaho, Colorado, and Utah!  We enjoy spending time together as a family  before dropping Cami off at BYU.

September--We went to Michigan to witness what turned out to be BYU's biggest football flop of the season.   On the bright side, we got a super cute picture of our family, which had it included Spence and Cam, surely would have been on our Christmas card this year!

October--I stayed completely awake through all four sessions of General Conference and took detailed and colorful notes.  

November--Epic girls' trip to San Diego to celebrate my sister's 40th birthday, which was awesome,  even if it did mean that I lost my brain afterward.

December--Glen and I went on an awesome anniversary trip to NYC.  

And, finally why you're all reading this far in the first place, I have decided that after nearly nine years that it's time for me to retire from regularly posting on this blog.  It's simply too much of a distraction for me and less of a joy than it once was.  I still may post here occasionally for out-of-the-ordinary occurrences, but I will no longer  be challenging myself to blog about the day-to-day happenings in our family anymore.

Alright, alright...you can stop cheering now.

 I will truly miss this blog as an outlet and definitely miss the connection I feel from it.  

Now I will leave all of you, dear readers, with a little Lara silliness in the form of a video we made for my dad's fake birthday today:     

A Rant About Pink

I'm not a very emotional person.  I get it from my mom, whom I've seen cry an entire two times in my life, both when people close to her had passed away.   My kids have definitely seen me cry more often than that, but it's still a very irregular occurrence.  

That's why when I got all teary eyed and upset at Emma's orthodontist appointment the other day, it took me totally off guard.    I went in there feeling just fine, but as I sat there looking at the entire office bedecked in pink for breast cancer awareness, something in me snapped.  

 Pink is everywhere this month--in the grocery stores, on the soccer fields, and now in the orthodontist office.  I have nothing against breast cancer awareness, in fact I think it's great that there's so much support out there for any type of cancer, but in that moment I became acutely sad that during the entire month of September, I barely saw any kind of acknowledgement that it was childhood cancer awareness month.      There were no gold ribbons bedecking anything other than the Facebook pages of other parents who belong to the same crappy club that I do of having had a kid face a very adult disease.  

Somehow our society has made it acceptable to think about  women who end up losing their breasts to mastectomies, but heaven help us, don't you dare burst our bubbles and remind us that kids get cancer too!   Never mind that not only are these kids who die losing decades more off their lives than adults, but even the lucky ones who live often suffer with horrible  after-effects from their treatments that greatly diminish their quality of life.   

Take the ubiquitous "chemo brain" that you hear cancer survivors talk about.   Chemo brain is parr for the course for the average middle-age cancer survivor and they complain of not being able to remember people's names as well, or having to write things down that they can't remember.   Unpleasant and not convenient for sure, but try thinking the havoc that chemo wreaks  on a STILL DEVELOPING BRAIN!  

Now just imagine having chemo brain when you're 20 and trying to take a full load of college classes.  

IT SUCKS!!!!!     

The  nurses have to wear protective clothing to even administer the noxious chemo cocktails  that these have PUMPED INTO THEIR BODIES for month after month, until they either die or they're "cured".  And even when they're so called cured, their bodies are never the same.

My son was one of the lucky ones who survived, and I am forever grateful for that, but by golly don't get so lost in the pink that you  forget that kids get cancer too.   

************************

Epilogue: 

   I used the opportunity  to talk to  the orthodontist about childhood cancer awareness month.   He was genuinely curious about Spencer and, in general, wanted to know more about the challenges that face childhood cancer patients.   He indicated that he would be interested to get the office involved in childhood cancer awareness month next September.  Now, I just need to gather a packet of information for him and follow up with him in about ten months! 

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If you want to do something: 

Less than 5% of federal funding for cancer research goes to childhood cancers.   If you want to make a difference,  CureSearch and Alex's Lemonade Stand are both worthy charities who use a large percentage (with little overhead cost) of their donations to finding a cure for childhood cancers.   

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The Postcard

We just received this random postcard from Ethiopia...

It has a US stamp and postmark, but no signature...

It reminded me of the flood of letters from all over the world that Spencer received for his 17th birthday while he was in the middle of treatment.   It was such a small gesture on the givers'  part, but it meant so much to us and to Spencer and we are touched that someone out there is still thinking of him.  

 Thank you to whomever sent it.    And thank you to all those who supported us through that  time of our lives.  

Good news!

I'm happy to say that this kid (who's not much of a kid anymore) is now...

3 years in remission from leukemia! 

His counts looked great and he's down to needing appointments only twice a year!  

It's hard to believe that it's been three whole years.

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Spencer's Make-A-Wish Trip!

In case you haven't figured it out by now, Spencer's wish was to go to New Zealand!!!! 

At the time they asked what his wish was (when he was cooped up in the hospital room for months on end), I think that his train of thought was "How far away can I possibly get from this hospital room?" and he picked the furthest place in the world that his brain could think of.   Sitting down with the volunteers and perusing New Zealand websites was something that brought Spencer so much hope and excitement in those dark days, but it seemed totally surreal to us that it  would ever happen.  We had the leukemia to get through first, then waiting on pins and needles praying he wouldn't be among the 50% of patients with his type of leukemia that relapsed in that first year, then the patience waiting for the Make-a-Wish volunteers to coordinate a HUGE trip for a family of seven.  As such, we didn't hear a word from them for about 2-1/2 years and we honestly had begun to believe that this trip would ever happen.

Now it's almost three years later and it's finally happening.  We picked up Spencer from JMU last night, who is now officially on spring break, and tomorrow we are taking off for the trip-of-a-lifetime!!!!  

We have a busy day packing and getting ready to go, so for your enjoyment here are some random facts about Make-A-Wish and about New Zealand:

• New Zealand is nearly 9000 miles away from home, 18-hours ahead on the clock (which will feel like 6), and is Spencer's dream destination!  

• Lying at over 1000 miles away from Australia, NZ is considered the most isolated of major land masses of the world and is not considered a part of any continent.  Technically it is considered part of Oceania, which also includes many of the other islands of the Pacific.  

• It was the last of the major land masses to be inhabited by humans.  Scientists believe that even the Maori arrived less than 1000 years ago.   

• There are NO native mammals on NZ, except bats….not even rats and mice.  There are plenty of mammals now, but none that were native when humans arrived.   

• Without the mammals as enemies, the birds in NZ thrived and created a vibrant and varied population of birds that cannot be found anywhere else in the world.  

• Lying at about 41º South, Wellington, NZ is the southernmost capital in the entire world.   

• Timezone wise New Zealand and Hawaii are 23-hours apart, but it only feels like 1-hour.  For instance, if it's 2:00pm on Saturday in Wellington, New Zealand, it's 3:00pm on Friday in Honolulu.  So it only feels like it's an hour difference, but in actuality it's on two different days. 

• Make-a-Wish grants thousands of wishes each year to children between the ages of 2-1/2 - 18 who have faced life-threatening illnesses.   It is NOT a requirement that the child be terminally ill, rather it is meant to be a way to give them hope and something to look forward to while they are facing the darkness and uncertainty of their lives being turned upside-down during their sickness.   

• As of 8:00am on Saturday, we still have ZERO idea what we'll be doing on this trip, other than we are leaving tomorrow.  Make-a-Wish has kept all the details a total surprise from us and will only be revealed to us later today (about 24-hours before we leave)!  

We are SO excited!   

It's Happening!!!!!

Three years ago, Spencer was stuck in a hospital room for more than half of his junior year of high school while he battled for his very life.    On one of those days dark days in the midst of chemo treatments, blood transfusions, and bone marrow biopsies,  a nurse mentioned a wonderful organization  that gives hope to kids like Spencer by granting them a wish.

Spencer was 16 and fighting a disease that doesn't have great odds, so when representatives from Make-a-Wish showed up in his room to find out what his wish was, he….

WISHED BIG!

He wished to be as far away as humanly possible from where he currently was.    

His wish, though heartfelt and sincere,  seemed like it might be too extravagant, especially for someone who comes from a big family and we worried that they would tell him to tone his wish down to something more reasonable.    Make-a-Wish, however, didn't even blink, told us to get passports, and that our trip would be soon after his treatment ended.

But then we waited, and waited, and waited…and didn't hear a single thing more until a couple of months ago when they told us to send them some dates that might work for our family to finally take his trip.

It had been so long since we heard from them, we honestly didn't know if his trip would ever happen.   Finally a couple of days ago, though,  we got the letter we've been waiting for!   We received confirmation for our flights and a note that our itinerary is being finalized.  

We are leaving in just a couple of weeks to finally take Spencer on a journey to the other side of the world.   A place we weren't sure he'd live  long enough to see, not to mention ever be able to afford to take him to ourselves.

We are seriously giddy with excitement and now want to give back in a small way to the foundation that's making this trip happen.

On March 26 (only about a week after we return from our trip), there will be a fundraising walk at the Mosaic Center in Fairfax and we would like to invite you to join our team.  A small $10 donation will register you to be a part of our team.   We'd love it if you could join us on the walk, but welcome you to be an honorary member even if you live far away!      Click the link below the picture to join!

Join Team Spencer 

Stay tuned for more details coming soon and in the meantime feel free to guess where we're heading.  (those of you who already know are exempt from guessing)

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Life 3 Years Later

This day three years ago, was the day we got that fateful phone call that Spencer had leukemia.   It marked the beginning of one of the most difficult times we'd ever faced as a family and I still dread this time of year because of some of  the negative memories that it brings back to me.  Looking back on it now, though,  I see with different eyes that it was also a time when we felt the nearness of God more keenly than we ever had before.   I don't pretend to know all the reasons why God allows these kinds of hardships into our lives, but I do know that we are never, ever left alone during them.  Besides feeling acutely that God was very aware of the details of what we faced, we were also enveloped in the love of an entire community around us.  I will ever be in awe at people's kindness and generosity that was showered upon us during that time and we could never even begin to repay all that was so freely and lovingly given to us.

Thank you!   Thank you!  Thank you!

I'd like to say that we're 100% better people than we were before Spencer got sick, but I have to face the fact that cancer did a number on all of us.   Besides gaining 30-lbs and turning my hair grayer than ever, we are a little more jaded and a little less optimistic than we once were.  Although  I've always known that bad things happen to good people,  when they happened to us it made us all the more  aware of how possible the  bad is.   It doesn't just happen to other people…it already happened to us.   I never have been a pessimist, but after getting the "worst" news once, it somehow makes every potential negative outcome  seem more likely than it did before.

Another thing cancer did to us was shake our confidence as parents.  I've heard so many people in my life saying, "As long as they're healthy," about their kids and we have one with  refractive epilepsy (Ellie), another with severe eczema (Cami), another that needs another eye surgery (Emma),  and one who had a life-threatening illness that continues to hang over him and alter the way he chooses to live his life (Spence).  So what if they're not healthy?  Being a mom who has always been very health conscious--breastfeeding for 12+ months, keeping them away from the tv and other electronics, cooking mostly from scratch,  choosing whole-foods over processed, and making sure they get plenty of time to play outside--realizing that our kids are not necessarily the picture of health as our society views it, has made us  have to make a huge shift in how we process the world and view ourselves.   I know academically that I could not have possibly caused all these health challenges that they're facing, but I still constantly battle the feeling that somehow I failed my kids.

And I have to admit that I am not the same mom I was 3-years-and-a-day ago.

  For instance, I attribute our decision to homeschool Ellie and Adam as a direct result of Spencer getting sick.  It made me realize that childhood is too short and I felt very acutely that I did not want to waste any more days with my kids at school all day with my only time spent with them jam-packed into the hectic evening hours. Especially with how exhausting school was for Ellie.     I had homeschooled Spencer just for 8th grade and I thought many times during his illness how glad I was for having done it.   I knew that no matter the outcome of his treatment, that I had had my year reconnecting with just him and I would have no regrets about the time we'd spent together.   Slowing down is exactly what we all needed and I am thrilled to have several years at home with the other kids!

Spencer getting sick also helped us put away the extraneous things in our lives that were distracting us and  helped us to focus more on what was important.  I mostly stopped food blogging while he was sick and I never could let myself get back into it, because I couldn't convince myself that it was something that mattered one iota in the scheme of mine or anybody else's lives.  Same now with Facebook and other social media.  Not that those things are bad, but that they were distracting us.  

In these past three years, I have been trying very hard to live my life more deliberately.  It's been a more difficult transition than I would have expected, because I am naturally quite an unorganized person with lazy tendencies, but I can't lie….it's better now.  I feel like instead of a wiling my way blindly  through the maze of parenting five kids, often with far too many things on my plate at once, I am more controlled, more deliberate, and more likely to say, "no," when it becomes too much.   I want to be present for my children.  I don't care how many activities we're "supposed" to sign our kids up for.  I don't care that people think we're crazy for pulling our kids out of school.   We are choosing  the path that is right for our family and my only regret is that it took my child having cancer to give me the courage to pursue it.  

While I would never want to relive some of things we went through during that time when he was in treatment, I can honestly look back and say now that our lives our deeper and richer for having lived through it.

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12-inches….3-years later

Almost three years ago, shortly after Spencer started chemo for his treatment of AML (leukemia), people started cutting off their hair  to show support for him.     The boys  shaved their heads and the girls cut off at least 10-inches and donated it to Locks of Love, a place which makes wigs for children with serious illnesses (like cancer).    In a small way I think it helped people to feel more connected to him and that, in their own way, they were doing something meaningful to support him.  Looking at those pictures still makes my heart smile and I can't help but be overwhelmed when thinking of all the people who loved and supported us through those difficult days.

Back when everyone else was cutting their hair, Cami was 100% not interested.   She loved her thick long hair and I think she was already so traumatized by Spencer being sick that she really struggled with the thought of cutting off, what to her,  was a huge part of her identity.    We never pushed it even a tiny bit.   We figured that making someone feel guilty in order to do something, pretty much defeated the message it was meant to convey.  She showed her love and support to Spencer in a gazillion other ways and not cutting her hair then was a non-issue.

Since then she hasn't even trimmed her hair and lately it's gotten so long that I even poked a little fun at it in our Christmas letter this year.    Although her hair is beautiful and thick, lately Glen and I had started wondering if she'd ever  cut it, especially since she realized that she's allergic to almost every shampoo and conditioner made.   She's been using either straight baking soda or an all-natural carrot based shampoo for several months and only uses apple cider vinegar for conditioner.  Somehow though, her hair still looks great and she felt no compulsion to even trim it.  

Then a couple of months ago she landed a new babysitting gig for a beautician who offered to cut her hair in exchange for babysitting!  It got Cami to thinking and  finally, this past week, with her employer's  encouragement,  Cami consented to giving it a trim.      

Here's her "trim" of 12-whole-inches…all going to Locks of Love!  

Before and after….

Happily, she loves the new easier and shorter 'do and we are proud of her decision to donate it!

Way to go, Cam! 

He's Got Platelets!

At every single appointment since Spencer's treatment for acute myeloid leukemia ended in June 2012, he has been found to be low on platelets.  The doctor never seemed overly worried about the low levels,  but we sometimes wondered if it was a sign of there being some underlying problem or something.   

Today we officially got to stop worrying about it!  This afternoon he went in for his oncology appointment (two months overdue) and he had the best blood levels we've ever seen!   Of course we never knew what his blood levels were pre-leukemia, but I imagine they probably looked a lot like today's results…totally normal in every way!   :)   

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WBC:  7.49, RBC:  4.56,  HGB:  15.3, PLT:  204

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Here are some pictures from the day:  

As per usual, Spence was quiet and a bit worried before his appointment.    

Me?   I just look tired and old, with freakishly white teeth.   

I love that they still give him fun bandages after drawing his blood! 

And here he is with a thumb's up for another awesome appointment!  

 A perfect way to start off the week of Thanksgiving!  

A Glimpse at Childhood Cancer

Starting tomorrow, the color pink will begin popping up everywhere in honor of breast cancer awareness month.   Breast cancer is a disease that is disfiguring and all too common, but I would be remiss if I didn't, on this last day of September, take a moment and tell you about a month that gets a whole lot less attention.   

September is childhood cancer awareness month.   

And my guess is that you haven't heard much about it.   I am fully aware that no one likes to think about children getting cancer and that it's far easier to turn our heads when we see pictures of those bald heads than to recognize that funding for childhood cancer research is paltry….a mere 5% of federal funding.   Most of the big cancer foundations only earmark a very small percentage for children and as a result, these young children get cancer treatments geared for adults.  The treatments are toxic enough that over 2/3 of childhood cancer survivors are left with long-term health issues. 

  While many adult cancers are caused by a lifetime of accumulated toxins, these kids' suffering is caused by nothing more than bad luck.    

Their families, their  interests, and their very lives are overnight  sucked into a vortex of blood tests, surgeries, hospital stays, and fighting for their lives every single hour of every single day.    

They are stir-crazy, sick, exhausted, and scared. 

And don't forget the families.  

Their lives get put on hold too, while they help their child engage in the battle for their lives.  Routines get turned upside down, other children's needs get pushed aside, and they too are exhausted and fearful of what the future will hold.

So what can you do?   

First and foremost, you can make an immediate difference in the life of someone you know who has a child who is suffering.   The number of hours of service in meals cooked, in visits, and in help with daily tasks  that we were given over the course of Spencer's treatment is mind-boggling.  We simply couldn't have done it without our friends' and loved ones' support!     Don't just say you're there to help….find a way and do it! 

You can also donate to a reputable childhood cancer foundation.  

We recommend Alex's Lemonade Stand, St. Baldrick's, and CureSearch. 

You can sign up to be a bone marrow donor. 

 It's an important, life-saving treatment for many types of cancer, including the type of leukemia that Spencer had (AML).   Unfortunately many people do not have a bone marrow match within their family. It sounds intense, but it's not actually not as bad as you'd think.   It's NOT a surgical procedure and most people are only out for a day or two after the extraction is made.    

This last option is clearly not for everyone, but you could also become a doctor, nurse, or researcher that makes a difference in the lives of these young cancer patients or helps find a cure.    

I cannot thank those medical professionals and researchers enough for the difference they made in our son's life.   Fifty years ago, he would have had zero chance for survival.    Today even, far too many people die from it, in fact we've had two friends relapse with AML just within the last month.   It's too many!

September is almost over, but it's not too late!  

Together, we can make a difference in the fight against childhood cancer! 

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A Lemonade Stand to Raise Money for Childhood Cancer Research

As part of the Alex's Lemonade Stand Leadership Conference that Cami is participating in this week, they are hosting a virtual lemonade stand to raise money for childhood cancer research.  

http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/1117142

Anyone who knows our family well at all, knows that this is a cause that is near and dear to our hearts and I invite you to take a moment and donate to the cause if you can.   Even a small amount makes a difference!

Because cancer is much more common in adults than children, only about 4% of cancer research money  is earmarked for helping children with cancer.  But it's because of childhood cancer research that there are  types of childhood cancer that are highly curable.  Spencer's form of leukemia (AML), however,  was very aggressive and even 10-years ago his chances for survival would have been much lower than they already were.    Even now, well less than 50% achieve long term survival.    Together we can make a difference and improve those odds even more!

Make a donation at:  http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/1117142 

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Two Years in Remission!!!!

Two years ago this week, Spencer walked out of the hospital bald and gaunt from his chemo treatments, but ecstatic as can be to be putting cancer behind him once and for all.    He since has graduated from high school, finished his freshman year at James Madison University, and is signed up to run in a long relay race in a few weeks.

Today he had his two-year check-up and was found to be healthy as ever!!     The two-year mark is a significant hurdle to overcome and we are thrilled with his continued health.  Check-ups now move to once every three-months!

Spencer and the amazing hem/onc doctor who coordinated  his care.
Dr. Shankar was a blessing of calm  during the time he was in the hospital.  

As we've approached this two year mark I've spent the last few months reflecting a lot on some of the ways that his battle with acute myeloid leukemia affected us and some of the things we've learned as a result of this challenge.    I hope you'll bear with some mushy reflections on my part.



Things we've learned:
*  God is in charge...trust in his eternal perspective.
*  life is short...don't waste it on stupid pursuits.
*  people are generally good, kind, and generous
*  when one door closes, another opens
*  the time we have with our kids, even in the best of circumstances, is far too short
*  modern day medicine is truly miraculous (if we had had our family a few decades ago we would not have any boys left (between Adam's difficult/emergency birth and Spence's leukemia))
*  the human body is amazing
*  life is sometimes hard
*  friends
*  light overpowers dark, but sometimes it takes time
*  God is keenly aware of us and our individual lives




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Clinic stats:
Weight: 75.6 kg     WBC:  4500    Hgb:  15.2   Platelets:   156     

Unstoppable

Sometimes I just start thinking about everything.

I think about when Ellie first started having seizures and how scared and overwhelmed we were.
Our hearts were broken as we worried about how the frequent seizures would affect her life and even more so as she reacted so poorly to the medications.   Now she at least is on a medication that isn't causing horrible side effects,  but we still struggle with the fact that she still has many, many seizures a day.

Then I think of how just a little over a year after Ellie's diagnosis we were blindsided with Spencer's  leukemia and Glen's subsequent job loss.   Our lives were turned upside down for half-a-year and we worried every moment of every day what the future would hold for our son.  While Spence has remained in remission and Glen does have a job now, we still worry about potential relapse.
  There's no two ways around the fact that it's been a hard few years.

And sometimes the weight of it all seems overwhelming.

I still worry if I did things to cause their ailments.  I wonder if we dealt with everything the "right" way.   And I wonder if I'll ever get my groove back again.  Some days I feel like I'm 20-years older than I was three years ago.

Thank goodness for little boosts like discovering this quote written  in Ellie's general conference notebook:  

"As individuals we are strong.  Together, with God, we are unstoppable."

It's a quote by Rosemary Wixom from Women's Conference and I was impressed that she picked it out from all the talks as meaningful enough to  write down.   It's something I needed to remember right now.

While I can never deny the comfort and strength that we felt so acutely when we were in the midst of those trials, I often let my day-to-day busyness get in the way of allowing myself to feel that same comfort now.

How grateful I am for the perspective that my faith in God gives me and  for this Easter season to reflect on what Christ's atonement truly means to me.  

A-Z's

I have been going through serious blogging withdrawals this past week.  Not only is my computer still not working, but our other computer is in high demand come homework time every night.    I've been a little out of sorts without my creative outlet and decided that tonight I am going to take advantage of the rare unoccupied evening computer time and write a blogpost.   My brain is too frazzled to be creative, so I'm just doing an A-Z recap of this past week or two in no particular order.

The picture I entered into the photo contest.   The theme was "books".   (see "m" below)

a) I was told that I am a wimpy Minnesotan for wearing a jacket on a 65-degree day
b)  I ate only freshly fried french fries and a clementine for lunch today.  Last Thursday I ate the same thing with a sandwich thrown in too.  My friend Shelly's frier is a homeschool co-op lunchtime staple!  
c) Cami got her first  "A" on an AP calculus test.
d)  One of our cancer friends (same age as Spencer) learned that her leukemia relapsed this past week :( 
e)  I deleted "Scramble" off my iPad.  It's a silly word game kind of like Boggle and I am pretty good at it, but I decided that it was a distraction that I could do without.
f) I led the discussion for our book group this week.  I read "Mary Poppins" and watched "Saving Mr. Banks" in preparation for it.  I came away liking the movies much better than the book or the author.
g)  I taught the homeschool co-op about the ancient American civilizations--the Aztecs, Incas, and Mayans.  We read about Machu Picchu and weaved on cardboard looms.
h) Cami had a lacrosse game tonight and scored two of their team's four goals.
i) I submitted an article for publication into a magazine
j) Two people, in so many words, told me that I'm a bad mom and messed up with one of my kids 
k)  One day Ellie cooked all three meals for the day from scratch, without recipes.  They were all good.
l)  I got mud splattered on my face and clothes at mutual.
m)  I found out I didn't win a small photo contest
n)  Ellie came home from a friend's house with green hair 
o)  Emma accompanied the YW singing, "Come Unto Jesus,"  in sacrament meeting this past Sunday
p) I ate half a bag of stale popcorn in an effort to stay awake during a project one day
q) I am loving the fabulously perfect weather this week (once it stopped raining).
r)  I am seriously considering deactivating my Facebook account.  For some reason, it's been really annoying me lately.
s)  Adam made us delicious French toast for breakfast this morning, complete with his own special touches.
t)  I am looking forward to some spiritual renewal at  General Conference this weekend!  
u)  Cami started tutoring a 7th grader in math
v)  The three girls and I went to Women's Conference on Saturday and loved it!
w) Our washing machine is on the fritz and my laundry pile is growing to new and scary heights.
x)  Glen got a promotion at work, which I'm really, really hoping means that his hours will level off soon.
y) For the first time, Spencer went to his oncologist appointment without a parent and had another clean check-up.  Twenty-two months!  His two year  check-up will be at home with his original oncologist.
z)  I've got a slight cold and it's making me so EXHAUSTED that I actually dhfjdahzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

20-months

Glen took the day off of work today to drive to Harrisonburg and  take Spence to the oncologist for his 20-month check-up.  We are inching ever closer to that 2-year post-treatment mark, which is a big hurdle to get to and I am pleased to say that...  

It is all still good!!!!

Now they are hitting the town and having some good old-fashioned guy bonding time (eating and watching a movie), while Cami is running in a track meet, and the rest of us have settled at home after an evening of running kids here there and everywhere.

Yay for normalcy!    

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Clinic stats:  
WBC=4.6    RBC=4.72    Hgb=16.0   Platelets=156