Friday, November 20, 2015

Missing in Action

In the 100-hours since I've been home from my trip to San Diego,  I've slept through the alarm once,  forgotten to give Ellie her medicine twice, eaten my weight in chocolate, missed paying an important bill, forgotten a commitment, didn't enforce the kids' music practice at all, and for the first 24-hours thought all the toiletries had been stolen out of my bag until I found them all right underneath my bag the next day.

In other words....my brain is officially missing in action.  

I think I used it a couple times in San Diego while trying to figure out the music settings on my phone.    And maybe a little at Trader Joes when I pondered whether to get peppermint or chocolate covered JoeJoes and ended up buying both.     But other than that, I haven't seen it at all.  

In the meantime, my brainless state has proven to be a bit of a liability for me.    A couple of days ago, I eagerly tried to take advantage of a great earlybird discount for ordering our Christmas cards.   I designed what I thought was a very hilarious Hobbit themed Christmas card, but was a bit disheartened when I promptly got shot down by all my proof-readers because the card was  too nativity-ish and trashy at the same time.  Think about that for a minute.   Yep, they used nativity and trashy in the same sentence, which meant that I promptly ordered a million of them on the spot.  

Then yesterday, after thinking briefly that I might have regained the use of my cognitive abilities again,  I decided to help my mom out in her quest to collect the rest of the Christmas wish lists from my siblings.     I thought myself extremely clever and informed my entire extended family that my mom was buying them all puppies unless they sent her their list  pronto.     Unfortunately, my clever plot was quickly foiled when on the spot one of my brothers gladly rescinded his Christmas list and is now expecting  a cute little puppy in his stocking.  Sorry, Mom.

Then tonight I was writing this blogpost, and  I thought to myself, "Lara, (because I always refer to myself in third-person in my thoughts) Why not embrace your newfound empty-headedness and start writing poetry?"  

Hmmmm, why not indeed?      

See my first masterpiece:

My name used to be Lara Crain, 
but now it is Lara No-Brain. 
I love to sleep 
and hope my kids don't make a peep,
because if there's nothing in my head, 
I may as well be in bed.  

Good night! 



4 comments:

K said...

Even without a brain, you write much better poetry than I! ;)

PS I'm pretty sure no one used the word trashy to describe your Christmas picture.

Jennifer McArthur said...

You are seriously one of the very coolest people I know! Love this!

Lara said...

You're right, K. The actual words used were "awkward" and "negative". That's a lot better than "trashy", when it comes to being paired with thinking that a hobbit house was a nativity scene.

Lara said...

Jenny, I love you! :)

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