A Tender Mercy

Most of you know that on the evening of January 10, 2012, our world was rocked in a way we never expected when we learned that our then 16-year-old son had leukemia.   What some of you may not know, though,  is that earlier that same day I had one of the most powerful spiritual experiences of my life that, unbeknownst to me at the time, was actually preparing me for the storm that was to come later that day.     

I was reading  these words from a living apostle:      

“The most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love. God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him.”    

President Dieter Uchtdorf, “You Matter to Him,” General Conference,  October 2011

And listening to this  song: 

It was during this song that I was suddenly overwhelmed with the very distinct impression that God not only knew me, but loved me, and was very aware of me and my family.   I am not normally an emotional person at all, but this message of peace struck me with a force and realness that I had never felt before in my life and it took me several minutes before I regained my composure enough to continue with my study.   

Several hours later, in the moment when I took the fateful phone call from the pediatrician, it was this message of love and peace that flooded into my heart and I knew that we would be okay.   Not that I had any premonition that Spencer would be healed or  a thought  that things would be rosy posy, but that wherever this new challenge took us, that God was in the details and in the end we would be okay.  That powerful experience on the morning of January 10th four years ago, literally carried me through the next several months of Spencer's illness.  

It's been four years now since that fateful day, but  it is still with trepidation that we approach the anniversary of Spencer's diagnosis day each year.  So many of our memories of Spencer at his sickest were in those weeks right around Christmas and I still feel my anxiety about his health rise this time  each year.  

This year, January 10th fell on Sunday and I intentionally kept myself busy in an effort to distract myself from what day it was, but still it was there niggling in the back of my mind.  Although there is not anyone at church who could have possibly known what day it was or what this particular song would mean  to me on that day, I was totally taken off guard when I heard  the bishopric member announce the intermediate hymn for the service.    

 God knew.   

It's a children's song with a simple message, but its message is powerful and far-reaching.

It brought comfort to me four-years-ago and brought comfort to me again this year.  

God is real and He loves us. 

And I am grateful for that reminder.  

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