Is this a round of Telestrations? Or the best doggone letter you've ever received?

Letter to Cami, dated 9/24/16:
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Dear Soeur G.,

Well, you'll be happy to know that despite the subject line of this email, this email has absolutely nothing to do with us playing Telestrations.

First off, I just wanted to give you a very sincere and dire warning not to attempt to pop any wheelies while on your mission. This guy was going 65mph on 495 like this....with a semi truck right behind him. We all agreed that he was being rather STUPID and needs to learn the gospel ASAP. I should have rolled down my window and gotten his contact information to send to the missionaries, but, alas, I'm pretty sure I saw his brain slip out the back of his helmet when we passed him.

Where were we going on 495, you ask? Don't guess. I'll just tell you. We were on our way to FedEx Field in Maryland to watch BYU play WVU in foosball.

Ellie and I just went to look cute, eat junk food, and dance wildly whenever music came on...


But dad and the boys were actually there to cheer the Cougars on, which is why they're wearing white and we're wearing gray....


Actually, you know us both pretty well, and I'm pretty sure you won't be surprised to hear that I yelled way louder than dad ever did. And I've got the hoarse voice to prove it if he tries to disagree.

Dad did get this random lucky butterfly to land on him though. It actually landed on Ellie first, then dad, which means they're both cooler than me, but we already knew that, so, you know, just keep reading.

Alas, it did not prove to be as lucky a butterfly as it bragged to be and we lost in another super close game (32-35).

We did have fun being there with half the LDS population of the DC area and it was a waaaaaaaaaaaay better than last year's fiasco in Michigan. And you'll be very happy to know that we had to drive down **** ***** Drive (names hidden to protect the innocent) to get to FedEx Field. I thought you'd have enjoyed being there with us and maybe taken it as a sign that you need to name your first child "Momo" or something.

So, what do you think?

I started this letter with warning you not to pop a wheelies, suggested that the guy needed a referral to the missionaries, went to the subject of football, dancing wildly, yelling louder than dad, lucky butterflies, and ended with a suggestion for your firstborn child.

Wouldn't that have made for a good round of Telestrations?

"NOOOOOOOOOOO, NOT YET," your mother exclaims loudly!

You, Cami Rose, need to know that YOUR MOM STILL HAS HER MOVES!!!! Check out (ignoring how disproportionally humongous my leg looks in this picture) how I can totally still kick Spence smack in the face....if I wanted to.

And with that uplifting bit of information (haha, I UPLIFTED my leg in a kick, making this picture UPLIFTING), this awesome letter must now come to an end, for I worry about overwhelming you with so much random amazingness in one sitting.

Tu es belle - à l'intérieur et à l'extérieur! Votre maman est tout à fait sérieux tout le temps et ne penserait jamais à écrire une lettre à vous tandis que dans l'une de ses humeurs stupides.

I LOVE YOU! JE T'AIME! Câlins et bisous!

Love,
Votre mère très grave