Lara's 5 Commandments on Writing a Christmas Letter

These "commandments" could probably be better classified as "Lara's Philosophy on Christmas Letters" than actual commandments, but they were so much more fun to write in scriptural language that I got a little carried away.

#1  Thou shalt not skip writing a Christmas letter because "nothing exciting happened".   Almost every year, this thought briefly crosses my mind, but then I remember that there is nothing more boring than a letterless Christmas card, except no Christmas card at all.

#2  Thou shalt avoid using trite clichés like the plague, because, heaven help us, I may be off my rocker, but I don't want people to know that I've lost my marbles.  We're all in the same boat anyway and this commandment is making zero sense whatsoever.    All I'm really trying to say is that for the love of all that's good, please avoid starting your letter with woeful reminiscings on the passage of time.

#3  Thou shalt not write a letter that filleth both sides of a paper with excessive verbiage.  A letter that spills onto both sides of the paper  should either use a large font, clever writing, or  a bunch of pictures...or even better...all of the above.

#4  Thou shalt think outside the box and not limit yourself to a formal letter style.   Over the years we've done a  top ten list, our year in NUMB3RS, a fairy tale, a list of what we're grateful for, a WANTED poster, and this year a toy catalog.    None of them would win any creativity awards, but I like to hope that at least I've done my small part in preventing Christmas card induced narcolepsy at least.

#5  Thou shalt not make the entire letter a list of the fabulous accomplishments of your awesomely perfect family.  Even if you are awesomely perfect and haven't so much as sneezed all year, believe me when I say that no one really wants to know it!    This isn't really an issue for us, since we are decidedly awesome, but faaaaaaaaaaaaar from perfect.   Even still I need to remind myself that listing out our accomplishments is just portraying a very small and unrepresentative piece of who we are.  

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Stay tuned for our Christmas card/letter reveal and a behind-the-scenes glimpse coming soon!

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New House Rules

We've recently had a few incidents around here that are causing me to rethink a few of our family's rules.   I usually try to go with the "less is more" philosophy on rule making, but in the interest of the well-being of our family I've decided not to take any more chances. 


1.  Thou shalt not let the leaf of the poison ivy plant touch thy face, nor thy eyes...lest they be smitten with a sore curse exactly like the sore curse that inflicted thine sister in days' past. 

2.  Thou shalt not retire to thy bed early and expect that the floors of thine abode will sweep themselves.

3.  Thou shalt not go to the doctor's office and expect that they will have the FluMist nasal spray, for in the day that thou goest shall be the day after they runneth out and only have flu shots administered with sharp needles.   And after the needle have poketh thy arm, it is kind, yay even saintly,  to thy mother to keepest thyself from engaging in half-hour long sobbing fests and near-faints. 

4.  Thou shalt heretofore remember that the steams  from the depths of a covered pot  can be hotter than hell itself and forethought should be taken to keepest thy body far removed from those cursed vapors that seek to destroy all in their path.

5.  Thou shalt not turn the station on the car radio and try to makest me hear thy music.  For insomuch that thou thinkest my music is boring, thine music smiteth mine ears from off mine face.  I ask thee is it good for mine ears to be smitten?  Nay, I say it is not good. 

6.  Thou shalt not steal thy mother's bathrobe from off of the hanger and think to use it for thine own purposes.  For thy mother's anger is kindled against those who causeth her to be left cold and dripping with only a damp bathrobe to covereth her nethermost parts.