Mother's Day Reflections

Being a mother is a profound and transformative experience that has shaped my life in countless ways. For nearly three decades, I have been blessed with the privilege and responsibility of raising the five kiddos that have come to our family.  This role has taken me on an incredible journey of love, growth, and self-discovery. Through the joys and challenges, I have learned invaluable lessons that have shaped my perspective and enriched my life.

 From the moment each of my children was placed in my arms, an unbreakable bond was formed and my life has never been the same.   During the last 30ish years since becoming a mother, I've been pregnant 5 times, breastfed for over 6 years, taken my kids to countless medical specialists {neurologists, ophthalmologists, orthodontists, hematologists, oncologists, cardiologists, pulmonologist, epileptologist, neuropsychologist, orthopedists, etc}, cried through their surgeries (4 that I can remember), taken care of 4 broken bones (that's probably not that bad for having 5 kids), wiped away many tears, cooked thousands of meals, homeschooled for 11 years, sent 3 kids on missions, driven them to countless activities, planned one wedding,  welcomed a new grandbaby, and had my heart filled to overflowing again and again and again.   

Motherhood is by far the hardest thing I've ever done, yet I would do it all again in a heartbeat  and feel so grateful to have these 5 kids {who are now all adults} be a part of my story.  

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AND on a very different, but related note, here's a glimpse at my Mother's Day this year!  

I talked to my sweet Elder!  I've been missing him extra much lately and I loved the chance to have a bonus call with him without feeling guilty for not making it a group call with the whole family, as we always do on his p-day calls. 

Glen made the most epic dinner ever.  Smoked steak (I don't even usually like steak, but this steak was out-of-this-world good!), plus steamed broccoli, roasted potatoes, and some sourdough bread (I had made the day before).   Then Ellie made GF cinnamon rolls for dessert. 

It was all delicious and very nice not to have to cook myself!  

We also enjoyed Emma, Heather, and my Nana who came for the occasion.  My mom is out of town, otherwise it would have been fun to have her there as well!  

I thought it was cute that my 3 kiddos who were there all matched each other (2 accidentally, 1 on purpose)...

It was fun to have my grandmother there as well...

Also, I know I'm excessively weird, but I am really happy to be back to making weekly programs for church again (even if I did have to beg).   For whatever reason, I find making them to be a creative outlet for me and I loved this Mother's Day picture from a neighbor so much, I decided to print them in color for Mother's Day!   No one else probably cared a bit, but I smiled every time I caught a glimpse of one. 

It's a little crazy to me that my stage of life with kids at home  is coming to an end, but it's been a good 28 years and definitely worth celebrating.  

💗💗💗💗💗

My Mom is....

My mom is...

an example of discipline.  

I've outweighed her most of my adult life (even in my thinner days) and she is an example of putting aside what's comfortable for what's best.    

an extreme introvert who loves her alone time.

But she is also willing to sacrifice that alone time to spend time with her loved ones.

a passionate and opinionated political guru.  

She follows politics closely in the news and has A LOT to say if you get her started! 

frugality embodied.  

She does not waste anything.  If there are two bites of food left on someone's plate, rather than tossing it like I would, she wraps it up and saves it for later.   And no container that came with a lid ever gets tossed until it is broken and unusable.  Milk jugs, mayo jars, soda bottles...all have a second life under my mom's care.  

 a devoted follower of Christ. 

Her faith is a rock that has never wavered and her devotion to the gospel is an inspiration to me. 

a great listener. 

Whenever I am feeling frustrated with daily life, I can count on my mom to listen to my woes without judgment.   

 an awesome mom and grandma! 

She sends birthday cards, talks to the kids on the phone,  reads to them, and will patiently sit and  listen to the most boring stories ever because she is awesome like that.  

We love you, Mom!   

Happy Mother's Day!

Throwback Thursday: A Surprise in the Shower!

Back in the days before I started this blog, I would send emails to my parents with stories about the kids.    Here's a long-lost email I sent them in October 2003 when Adam had just turned one and Emma was almost three.   

I had a somewhat hectic morning and didn't have the chance to shower before Glen left for work and the older kids went off to school.  Rather than spending the day unshowered, though, I made a bold decision that I would try to distract the little ones for a few minutes and attempt to shower anyway.  I got Adam (barely 1) and Emma (3) occupied in the room adjacent to the bathroom with  doors shut and plenty of things they could do.  I was fully enjoying my three minute long shower, until I realized that while I could hear Emma happily playing, that I couldn’t hear Adam at all.   

As I turned around to peek out the shower curtain to see if I could see what he was doing, I jumped in surprise as I just about knocked him over.  He’d walked into the shower fully clothed and hadn’t made a single sound!  He looked as surprised as I did, since my turning around caused the stream of water to drench him completely.  

All in all he was quite pleased with himself that he’d found my “hiding place”! 

PS   Although I often miss having "little people" in the house anymore,  I am really happy to be at a place in life that I can take showers now without worrying about what the kids are getting into!

I couldn't find a good picture of them in the right age range,
so this one of Emma and Adam was when they  were more like 5 and 3.

My Mother

My mom is the 9th of 11 children born to poor, but hardworking parents, Fay and Florize.  They lived on a small dairy farm in picturesque Grover, Wyoming, a tiny little speck on the map near the border of Idaho.    Growing up on a farm meant that my mom and her siblings learned to work hard from a very early age.  Starting in elementary school she was feeding the cows, making sure they stayed out of the haystacks, picking up the hay that had dropped from the buckrake, mowing the grass, weeding the garden, peeling fruits for canning, and helping harvest some of the vegetables.  In 8th grade she started milking the cows and making the haystacks.

Although not as common in her generation, the sea green painted, tin-roofed house she grew up in still did not have indoor plumbing.  She told stories of her and her sisters running to the outhouse in the middle of freezing Wyoming nights and meeting little critters along the way.  Other times they would painfully hold their bladders until morning, just to avoid the trek out in the dark and bitter cold.   Bathing was a treasured luxury that did not happen often enough for mom's taste.  As an adult, long, hot showers continue to be one of her guilty pleasures in life.

In that rural farming community where she grew up, women were still basically second class citizens.  Legally they could vote and attend school, but inheritances were traditionally only passed on to sons, because the daughters would one day be taken care of by their husbands and when my mom signed up for trigonometry in high school, her counselor discouraged her from it and told her that she shouldn't bother taking such high level math, because women didn't need math.   She was one of two girls in that trig class and she aced it.  She later graduated as salutatorian of her class, again an unusual feat for a girl back then.    Several years after that, with four kids in tow,  she graduated with a bachelor's degree from Brigham Young University.  All of her siblings, except one, are college graduates.

My grandfather did not believe it proper for women to drive and although my grandmother  signed my mom up for driver's ed behind grandpa's back, my mom never did get her driver's license until she was married and had a few children.  I remember my mom's driving lessons--always starting in parking lots and ending with a bit of shouting from my dad.   Although she spent many years toting eight kids around to their various activities, mom still does not enjoy driving much and will always eagerly pass the steering wheel over to anyone else who might be willing to take over.  

One of the greatest lessons my mom instilled in us kids was the value of making do with what you have.  You don't need expensive containers to organize your pantry when a soda bottle or a mayonnaise jar will work just as well.  Who needs fancy end tables when you can stack up a few boxes of food storage and throw a pretty table cloth over it? And don't get her started on shoes.  She is an adamant believer that all anyone needs is one pair of tennis shoes to wear six days a week and one pair of sensible dressy flats for Sundays.  Anything more than that is frivolous.  Although most of us are anti-soda bottle pantry organizers, I do tend toward my mom in the shoe philosophy department.  I  own more than two pairs, but each pair is extremely sensible (meaning comfortable and unstylish) and worn until they fall apart.  Recently I replaced a worn-out pair of shoes and later discovered during a visit from my mom that they matched a pair of my mom's almost exactly.     In my younger years that might have embarrassed me at least a little, but fact is I don't mind anymore and I am proud to say that I even wore those shoes to church today.

My mom's legacy is one of hard-work, intelligence, frugality, and unconditional love.  Although her life has never been easy, she has always made the best of whatever it's thrown at her.  I am grateful for the way she's always risen above what was expected of her and shown by example that we can accomplish anything that we put our minds to.

Happy Mother's Day!  

I love you Mom! 

Motherhood

When the doctor placed Spencer into my arms for the first time, I remember marveling at his tiny little  features.  He had dark hair like mine and brown eyes almost the exact same color as Glen's.  I was young--barely 22 and still in college when he was born--but our youthfulness did not stop us from harboring big dreams for our firstborn.  There was no doubt in our minds that our tiny little son was destined to become a strong, faithful, warm, caring, athletic, hard-working, mama-loving, responsible, God-fearing CEO someday.   

Eighteen years later and I look back to those days when I snuggled that hungry little newborn close to my breast for the first time, both of us fumbling with fatigue and inexperience,  with a sort of longing for the simplicity and singleness of heart we shared.   I never could have imagined then, the exquisite joy and the heart-wrenching aches that motherhood would one day bring.  
 
I look back at some of the heartaches I've faced as a mother--a child who seems bent on being prickly to everyone and everything, a little one with physical challenges that have the potential to hold her back both physically and academically, and a son who has already literally battled for his life --and sometimes I wish I could go back to me as that young mother tickling her firstborn under the chin and tell her to hang on.

Hang on to the joy and embrace it with every part of your soul.   You'll need those joys to fill your soul with enough light to pull you through the dark moments of your life.    Don't get so caught up in the duties of motherhood that you forget the very people who have made you a mother.  Dishes and emails can wait.   Take the time to listen, notice, and embrace them right here and right now.

It's worth it.



Happy Mother's Day  to all of you and especially my own dear mother, who instilled in us kids a sense of what is really important in life.  Love you, Mom!


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20 Lessons I Learned From My Mother

1.  Prayer works, whining doesn't.
2.  TV is bad, books are good.
3.  Some oldies music and a comfy pair of sweats is all you need for a good workout. 
4.  People of a certain political persuasion need to get their heads examined.
5.  Simple is better.
6.  Kids grow fast and it's important to focus on the things that really matter. 
7.  Coffee cakes and coffee tables don't really exist, they're actually called breakfast cakes and tv tables.
8.  The only difference between a person chewing gum and a cow chewing its cud is the intelligent look on the face of the cow. We had this quote hanging on our fridge for years, but alas it was one of the least effective of mom's edicts, since most of us kids have decided that we prefer having minty fresh breath over looking intelligent.
9.  Keeping one night a week set aside for family night is well worth the sacrifice and effort.
10. Our church leaders are called by God.
11.  One pair of tennis shoes and one pair of Sunday shoes is all the footwear you need.  I actually have about five pairs, three of which I wear on a regular basis, which basically makes me a shoe horse according to mom.  
12.  Freckles are angel kisses and nothing to be embarrassed about.
13.  America is a blessed land and we should do our best to be good citizens--by voting in every election (big or small) and by getting involved in trying to affect positive changes in the community.
14.  Beauty comes from within.
15.  You need to vary the hiding places of goodies and gifts frequently. 
16.  Embarrassing topics should be avoided at all costs, but if one has to refer to it, then code names make it less embarrassing. (For instance, saying you need a new "arb" is much less blush worthy than saying you need a new bra.)
17.  It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. 
18.  We are blessed to live in a day and time when there is a living prophet on the earth. 
19.  Why pay full price for something, when you can just skip buying it altogether?   
20. Slow down.  Take time to smell the coffee....er, I mean roses. 

...And the list could have gone on and on.  Thank you mom!!!  I love you!

                                          Our mothers on our wedding day-- Denver, Colorado Temple---December 1993

   from left:  My Nana Crain, Glen's Grandmother Loughton, Glen's mother Sandy, My Mom, My Grandma Hepworth             (The only missing grandmother that day was Glen's Grandma Goold)

 

I also want to express my heartfelt gratitude and love to Glen's mother,  Sandy, who is as kind, generous, accepting, and loving a mother-in-law as anyone could ever wish for! 

Happy Mother's Day!

"...I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them."  Alma 57:21

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"Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mothers image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child's mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security, her kiss, the first realization of affection, her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world."

                                                                                                                                                             ~David O McKay

Motherhood Reflections

It is late and I wish my son would go to sleep.  I look over at his round, peach fuzz covered head tossing and turning while he fights sleep, and I marvel that he could have ever fit inside my womb.  I remember when the doctor placed Spencer into my arms for the first time, and for as joyful as I was to finally meet him, I also distinctly felt the worry of whether I could be a good enough mother to raise him to be the man that he was meant to be.   I never could have imagined then, the exquisite joy and the heart-wrenching aches that motherhood would one day bring into my life.

Each child that has come to our family since then has brought with them their own unique personality and set of challenges. God blesses us with these little people in our lives and they are everything to us.  We love them, nurture them, pray for them, teach them the best we can,  and then we hold our breaths and hope that our love and prayers are enough to get them to where they need to be.   To be the person that God intended them to be. 

I look at my oldest son now.  His hair is gone and his body gaunt, but I still see glimpses of the same Spencer we've always known.  He pores over college catalogs and wonders whether his grades are good enough to get in. He starts to tell me about a recruiting letter he just received from a lacrosse coach at an Ivy League school, but then his IV pump starts beeping and we are interrupted while we wait for the nurse to come in to change his antibiotic.   While the nurse works, my mind wanders and I find myself wondering once again if my mothering skills are up to par for this kind of challenge.  Parenting my younger kids from afar, while we spend our days at the hospital and help Spencer face the battle of his life.  It certainly isn't quite the motherhood journey I envisioned all those years ago. 

But then I look over at my son.  He has had his independence ripped out from underneath him in the very moment when his friends are spreading their wings, yet he only rarely has ever displayed any amount of self-pity. He is scared for the future, but does not allow that fear to overwhelm him. Suddenly I am comforted when I realize that through this journey,  that not only have I seen a truer glimpse of the man that he is becoming, but that I am also becoming the mother I was always meant to be. 

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UPDATE:

• Spence has been fever-free for 2 nights in a row.  This is good news!

• All tests (MRI, CT scans, bone scans, echocardiogram, angiogram, etc) have come back normal, however they have mentioned that they will likely repeat all the testing next week when his counts have rebounded.   Apparently when you have an infection when you have no immune system, your body doesn't fight and respond to the infection like it's supposed to (swelling, warmth, redness, etc).  When the body can't fight it,  locating where an infection is can be very difficult.  We're praying that the lack of fever means that whatever infection is brewing is  resolving itself with the antibiotics he's already on!  

• His chest pain has continued, but the nurse is going to attempt to wean him down to slightly less potent painkillers tonight to see if they'll do the trick.

• ANC is still 0, but monocytes and other blood markers are starting to rise, which means the neutrophils should start returning again soon.

• Cami had a cupcake making factory at our house this weekend.  She was hired by a friend to make 6 dozen cupcakes for a party and I think she had as much fun making them as the party goers had eating them! 

• I had the privilege of going to a Women's Conference this morning.  I loved the inspirational classes, good food, spiritual upliftment, and social time with friends.  Thanks to all who organized it!

• Thank you for making Spencer feel loved today by visiting him.  He loved it! 

• Spencer's 17th birthday is coming up on April 30th and we are hoping to shower him with cards and notes from across the country (and world?). Please help make his hospital-bound birthday special by sending him a quick note/encouraging word. Please email me for our address. goolds@verizon.net
  (PS feel free to spread the word to other nice friends / famous people you know/ people who live in foreign countries who may want to support him in this way as well.)

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"Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels."

                                                                              The First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints