Mother's Day Reflections

Being a mother is a profound and transformative experience that has shaped my life in countless ways. For nearly three decades, I have been blessed with the privilege and responsibility of raising the five kiddos that have come to our family.  This role has taken me on an incredible journey of love, growth, and self-discovery. Through the joys and challenges, I have learned invaluable lessons that have shaped my perspective and enriched my life.

 From the moment each of my children was placed in my arms, an unbreakable bond was formed and my life has never been the same.   During the last 30ish years since becoming a mother, I've been pregnant 5 times, breastfed for over 6 years, taken my kids to countless medical specialists {neurologists, ophthalmologists, orthodontists, hematologists, oncologists, cardiologists, pulmonologist, epileptologist, neuropsychologist, orthopedists, etc}, cried through their surgeries (4 that I can remember), taken care of 4 broken bones (that's probably not that bad for having 5 kids), wiped away many tears, cooked thousands of meals, homeschooled for 11 years, sent 3 kids on missions, driven them to countless activities, planned one wedding,  welcomed a new grandbaby, and had my heart filled to overflowing again and again and again.   

Motherhood is by far the hardest thing I've ever done, yet I would do it all again in a heartbeat  and feel so grateful to have these 5 kids {who are now all adults} be a part of my story.  

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AND on a very different, but related note, here's a glimpse at my Mother's Day this year!  

I talked to my sweet Elder!  I've been missing him extra much lately and I loved the chance to have a bonus call with him without feeling guilty for not making it a group call with the whole family, as we always do on his p-day calls. 

Glen made the most epic dinner ever.  Smoked steak (I don't even usually like steak, but this steak was out-of-this-world good!), plus steamed broccoli, roasted potatoes, and some sourdough bread (I had made the day before).   Then Ellie made GF cinnamon rolls for dessert. 

It was all delicious and very nice not to have to cook myself!  

We also enjoyed Emma, Heather, and my Nana who came for the occasion.  My mom is out of town, otherwise it would have been fun to have her there as well!  

I thought it was cute that my 3 kiddos who were there all matched each other (2 accidentally, 1 on purpose)...

It was fun to have my grandmother there as well...

Also, I know I'm excessively weird, but I am really happy to be back to making weekly programs for church again (even if I did have to beg).   For whatever reason, I find making them to be a creative outlet for me and I loved this Mother's Day picture from a neighbor so much, I decided to print them in color for Mother's Day!   No one else probably cared a bit, but I smiled every time I caught a glimpse of one. 

It's a little crazy to me that my stage of life with kids at home  is coming to an end, but it's been a good 28 years and definitely worth celebrating.  

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Flood, Gift, Trip

May 6:  We started this day with a whole bunch of running around to pick up fans from people.   Our basement is sloooooooowwwwwwly drying out. 

Then Cami made me an early Mother's Day breakfast and presented me with this beautiful gift!    I LOVE IT!!!

The rest of the day was spent cleaning the house like crazy and packing--only one backpack per person! 

Then eventually we left the fans blowing and headed to the airport...

...for the trip of a lifetime!  We've been planning and saving for this for many years and we couldn't be more excited! Stay tuned for many adventures to come! 

My Mom is....

My mom is...

an example of discipline.  

I've outweighed her most of my adult life (even in my thinner days) and she is an example of putting aside what's comfortable for what's best.    

an extreme introvert who loves her alone time.

But she is also willing to sacrifice that alone time to spend time with her loved ones.

a passionate and opinionated political guru.  

She follows politics closely in the news and has A LOT to say if you get her started! 

frugality embodied.  

She does not waste anything.  If there are two bites of food left on someone's plate, rather than tossing it like I would, she wraps it up and saves it for later.   And no container that came with a lid ever gets tossed until it is broken and unusable.  Milk jugs, mayo jars, soda bottles...all have a second life under my mom's care.  

 a devoted follower of Christ. 

Her faith is a rock that has never wavered and her devotion to the gospel is an inspiration to me. 

a great listener. 

Whenever I am feeling frustrated with daily life, I can count on my mom to listen to my woes without judgment.   

 an awesome mom and grandma! 

She sends birthday cards, talks to the kids on the phone,  reads to them, and will patiently sit and  listen to the most boring stories ever because she is awesome like that.  

We love you, Mom!   

Happy Mother's Day!

My Mother

My mom is the 9th of 11 children born to poor, but hardworking parents, Fay and Florize.  They lived on a small dairy farm in picturesque Grover, Wyoming, a tiny little speck on the map near the border of Idaho.    Growing up on a farm meant that my mom and her siblings learned to work hard from a very early age.  Starting in elementary school she was feeding the cows, making sure they stayed out of the haystacks, picking up the hay that had dropped from the buckrake, mowing the grass, weeding the garden, peeling fruits for canning, and helping harvest some of the vegetables.  In 8th grade she started milking the cows and making the haystacks.

Although not as common in her generation, the sea green painted, tin-roofed house she grew up in still did not have indoor plumbing.  She told stories of her and her sisters running to the outhouse in the middle of freezing Wyoming nights and meeting little critters along the way.  Other times they would painfully hold their bladders until morning, just to avoid the trek out in the dark and bitter cold.   Bathing was a treasured luxury that did not happen often enough for mom's taste.  As an adult, long, hot showers continue to be one of her guilty pleasures in life.

In that rural farming community where she grew up, women were still basically second class citizens.  Legally they could vote and attend school, but inheritances were traditionally only passed on to sons, because the daughters would one day be taken care of by their husbands and when my mom signed up for trigonometry in high school, her counselor discouraged her from it and told her that she shouldn't bother taking such high level math, because women didn't need math.   She was one of two girls in that trig class and she aced it.  She later graduated as salutatorian of her class, again an unusual feat for a girl back then.    Several years after that, with four kids in tow,  she graduated with a bachelor's degree from Brigham Young University.  All of her siblings, except one, are college graduates.

My grandfather did not believe it proper for women to drive and although my grandmother  signed my mom up for driver's ed behind grandpa's back, my mom never did get her driver's license until she was married and had a few children.  I remember my mom's driving lessons--always starting in parking lots and ending with a bit of shouting from my dad.   Although she spent many years toting eight kids around to their various activities, mom still does not enjoy driving much and will always eagerly pass the steering wheel over to anyone else who might be willing to take over.  

One of the greatest lessons my mom instilled in us kids was the value of making do with what you have.  You don't need expensive containers to organize your pantry when a soda bottle or a mayonnaise jar will work just as well.  Who needs fancy end tables when you can stack up a few boxes of food storage and throw a pretty table cloth over it? And don't get her started on shoes.  She is an adamant believer that all anyone needs is one pair of tennis shoes to wear six days a week and one pair of sensible dressy flats for Sundays.  Anything more than that is frivolous.  Although most of us are anti-soda bottle pantry organizers, I do tend toward my mom in the shoe philosophy department.  I  own more than two pairs, but each pair is extremely sensible (meaning comfortable and unstylish) and worn until they fall apart.  Recently I replaced a worn-out pair of shoes and later discovered during a visit from my mom that they matched a pair of my mom's almost exactly.     In my younger years that might have embarrassed me at least a little, but fact is I don't mind anymore and I am proud to say that I even wore those shoes to church today.

My mom's legacy is one of hard-work, intelligence, frugality, and unconditional love.  Although her life has never been easy, she has always made the best of whatever it's thrown at her.  I am grateful for the way she's always risen above what was expected of her and shown by example that we can accomplish anything that we put our minds to.

Happy Mother's Day!  

I love you Mom! 

Mother's Day Top 5 (and a Bottom 1)

I can't let this week go by without doing a little recap on Mother's Day.  The older the kids have gotten, the less I expect for Mother's Day, but the more they continue to impress me.  Gone are the little clay pinchpots from art class and in their place are other, more meaningful gifts--gifts of kindness, creativity, and service.  I sure love these kids!

Here's a look at my Mother's Day Top 5:

5.  Cute handmade cards-- Although you could tell he was pleased with the poem and picture, Adam apologized to me that the bird didn't really look like a real chickadee (as referenced in the poem).  I also really like how he thought to cross out "from" and change it to "love".   :)

4.  A gorgeous homemade bracelet from Adam--who must have reassured me ten times during the day that he was not the only boy who made their mom jewelry at his friend's house.  

3.  My very own one-of-a-kind Mother's Day coupon book from Ellie--which included such coupons as quiet time,  a mommy-daughter date, game night, and story time.  

2.  Emma made Lemon-Roasted Chicken and Vegetables for dinner and Cami made breadsticks and chocolate cookies--it was absolutely awesome eating homemade food that I did not cook myself.  

1.  Kids (particularly one) who willingly posed for a picture with me.   Even if his motives were socially driven (so he could put it on Instagram) and he felt the random need to tackle me to the couch before letting anyone pull out the camera, I was  still grateful for a rare smiling shot of the two of us.  

Now if I could just figure out how to freeze time.  I'm not sure I like this growing up and leaving the house stuff that is soon upon us.


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BOTTOM 1

#1 And what Mother's Day would be complete without a major appliance breaking?  My dishwasher has burned out its third motor in five years.  :(


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OTHER MOTHER'S DAY TRADITIONS (that I didn't take pictures of)

Breakfast in bed--Glen made a fabulous breakfast of crepes, eggs, and fresh fruit!
Planting flowers in the yard--mostly it was the flowers for our deck with a few for around the mailbox.

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Motherhood

When the doctor placed Spencer into my arms for the first time, I remember marveling at his tiny little  features.  He had dark hair like mine and brown eyes almost the exact same color as Glen's.  I was young--barely 22 and still in college when he was born--but our youthfulness did not stop us from harboring big dreams for our firstborn.  There was no doubt in our minds that our tiny little son was destined to become a strong, faithful, warm, caring, athletic, hard-working, mama-loving, responsible, God-fearing CEO someday.   

Eighteen years later and I look back to those days when I snuggled that hungry little newborn close to my breast for the first time, both of us fumbling with fatigue and inexperience,  with a sort of longing for the simplicity and singleness of heart we shared.   I never could have imagined then, the exquisite joy and the heart-wrenching aches that motherhood would one day bring.  
 
I look back at some of the heartaches I've faced as a mother--a child who seems bent on being prickly to everyone and everything, a little one with physical challenges that have the potential to hold her back both physically and academically, and a son who has already literally battled for his life --and sometimes I wish I could go back to me as that young mother tickling her firstborn under the chin and tell her to hang on.

Hang on to the joy and embrace it with every part of your soul.   You'll need those joys to fill your soul with enough light to pull you through the dark moments of your life.    Don't get so caught up in the duties of motherhood that you forget the very people who have made you a mother.  Dishes and emails can wait.   Take the time to listen, notice, and embrace them right here and right now.

It's worth it.



Happy Mother's Day  to all of you and especially my own dear mother, who instilled in us kids a sense of what is really important in life.  Love you, Mom!


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20 Lessons I Learned From My Mother

1.  Prayer works, whining doesn't.
2.  TV is bad, books are good.
3.  Some oldies music and a comfy pair of sweats is all you need for a good workout. 
4.  People of a certain political persuasion need to get their heads examined.
5.  Simple is better.
6.  Kids grow fast and it's important to focus on the things that really matter. 
7.  Coffee cakes and coffee tables don't really exist, they're actually called breakfast cakes and tv tables.
8.  The only difference between a person chewing gum and a cow chewing its cud is the intelligent look on the face of the cow. We had this quote hanging on our fridge for years, but alas it was one of the least effective of mom's edicts, since most of us kids have decided that we prefer having minty fresh breath over looking intelligent.
9.  Keeping one night a week set aside for family night is well worth the sacrifice and effort.
10. Our church leaders are called by God.
11.  One pair of tennis shoes and one pair of Sunday shoes is all the footwear you need.  I actually have about five pairs, three of which I wear on a regular basis, which basically makes me a shoe horse according to mom.  
12.  Freckles are angel kisses and nothing to be embarrassed about.
13.  America is a blessed land and we should do our best to be good citizens--by voting in every election (big or small) and by getting involved in trying to affect positive changes in the community.
14.  Beauty comes from within.
15.  You need to vary the hiding places of goodies and gifts frequently. 
16.  Embarrassing topics should be avoided at all costs, but if one has to refer to it, then code names make it less embarrassing. (For instance, saying you need a new "arb" is much less blush worthy than saying you need a new bra.)
17.  It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. 
18.  We are blessed to live in a day and time when there is a living prophet on the earth. 
19.  Why pay full price for something, when you can just skip buying it altogether?   
20. Slow down.  Take time to smell the coffee....er, I mean roses. 

...And the list could have gone on and on.  Thank you mom!!!  I love you!

                                          Our mothers on our wedding day-- Denver, Colorado Temple---December 1993

   from left:  My Nana Crain, Glen's Grandmother Loughton, Glen's mother Sandy, My Mom, My Grandma Hepworth             (The only missing grandmother that day was Glen's Grandma Goold)

 

I also want to express my heartfelt gratitude and love to Glen's mother,  Sandy, who is as kind, generous, accepting, and loving a mother-in-law as anyone could ever wish for! 

Happy Mother's Day!

"...I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them."  Alma 57:21

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"Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mothers image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child's mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security, her kiss, the first realization of affection, her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world."

                                                                                                                                                             ~David O McKay

Definition of a Good Day--Through the Ages

5-year-old girl--losing your first tooth and getting loot from the tooth fairy for the first time

7-year-old boy--going to a Caps game with Dad and getting a new hat to wear around

9-year-old girl--having your baby cousin come to visit and chant, "Emma Emma Emma" through the evening

12-year-old girl--chilling with friends

15-year-old boy--scoring three goals in your high school lacrosse game.  Go Jags!

37-year-old mom--getting to laze around all morning in my pajamas, eat a fancy breakfast, get a day off of nursery to go to Sunday School and Relief Society, and have time to do a little photoshopping so I don't scare all of my faithful blog readers away with my scary morning face!

.....and finding a fun new quote to make me laugh:    
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." Mark Twain

Thank you to Glen, AnnaLisa, and the kids who made me feel so loved today!

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Lessons From My Mother

"...I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them."  Alma 57:21

Lessons I've learned from my mother:
1.  Prayer works.
2.  TV is bad, books are good.
3.  You don't need fancy equipment to exercise.
4.  If you're a liberal, you probably need to see a neurosurgeon. (don't worry liberal friends, I told my mom you're a moderate)
5.  Simple is better.
6.  Avoid the appearance of evil. 
7.  Coffee cakes and coffee tables don't really exist, they're actually called breakfast cakes and tv tables.
8.  People who wear high heels are people who enjoy inflicting pain upon themselves.
9.  FHE is well worth the sacrifice and effort.
10. Our leaders are called by God.
11.  Navy blue is the new black.
12.  Freckles are something to be proud of.
13.  America is a blessed land.
14.  Beauty comes from within.
15.  You need to vary the hiding places of goodies and gifts frequently.  A whole year of Little Debbies for breakfast taught me that trick.
16.  Embarrassing topics should be avoided at all costs, but if one has to refer to it, then code names make it less embarrassing. (An arb is much less blush worthy than a bra.)
17.  One pair of tennis shoes and one pair of Sunday shoes is all the footwear you need.
18.  Slow down.  Take time to smell the coffee....er, I mean roses. 
19. List making is for wimps who can't remember what they're doing.

...And the list could have gone on and on.  Thank you mom!!!  I love you!

 
I also want to express my heartfelt gratitude to my awesome mother-in-law and grandmothers (all pictured above, except for Glen's Grandma Frances). 

Happy Mother's Day! 

We love you! 

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Salary Petition

Have you ever seen the study someone did that tried to give a monetary value to the work a mother does?

They figure out the average number of hours a mother performs certain  jobs, like housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, nurse, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, accountant, and psychologist, and figures out a salary for them.  According to this study, the current monetary value of a stay-at-home mother is something like $134,121.

I noticed though that they left off a very important job---event planner.  Every day a mother needs to figure out who needs to be where and at what time, and where is dinner going to fit in all that, and what about those wholesome recreational activities we're supposed to be engaging in?   Who's supposed to take care of planning those?

So, I've researched the average salary of an event planner and am petitioning that we should add another $40,000 or so to that stay-at-home mom's worth.

Now if I could just figure out why I haven't been getting my paycheck...