Sunday, November 29, 2009

Disclaimer/ Question

First order of business--

A Disclaimer:    Sometimes (okay fine.  ALWAYS) my humor is goofy and understood only by women about 5'4" with heavily freckled arms.  

The Unaltered Truth:  In conjunction with that disclaimer, I want to inform you that my fridge really was broken again (for the second year in a row right before Thanksgiving) and while seemingly suspicious in timing, I am fully aware that democrats are not responsible for Sears' poor quality issues.   When I referred to a "vast left-winged conspiracy" theory I was merely referring to the left-winged dodo birds Sears hires to manufacture their products.   (no offense meant to any dodo birds who may be reading this)

And certainly I would never ever allow one of my own children to express their gratitude in such a sarcastic manner as them saying that they're grateful for "stuff as awesome as me", when clearly it should have read "stuff as awesome as my mom".    I do not tolerate sarcasm in the slightest measure in our household and have already grounded him for 3 weeks for his lapse in judgment on that one.

  Truly it was the most stupendous Thanksgiving ever and there was nothing average about it (even my cooking debacles were spectacular).  Our guests were fun, good-looking, and witty, our fridge was working again,  my nephew was the cutest little pilgrim boy ever, and the Chinet made clean-up a snap.
It was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!  (this paragraph is serious)

Now for the question...

Yay or nay.  Do you think these inflatable yard decorations are obnoxious?

PS That is not my house and they do not have cutesy little names like Frosty, Pete the Polar Bear, and Blizzard.  



Steve-Rosanna said...

Lara, although you have very magnanimously shouldered all the blame for your "gift" of saying stupid things and/or unknowingly offending someone, it is important for you to understand that it is not all your fault-as many of these gifts were genetic in nature and really can't be blamed on you.

Not only did you inherit these unenviable gifts from your verbally challenged father, but you were raised in a home where the art of sarcasm was taught and refined at the highest level.

No one, repeat no one does sarcasm better than the Crain family. I know hardly a badge of honor, but nevertheless-we are really, really good at it with a couple of your siblings (unnamed to spare their notoriety) almost rising to the level of their sarcasm superstar father.

BTW, "yay" on your question.

K said...

Lara-I am totally cracking up at your post! You're hilarious! And I'm sure you have offended ALL of the dodo birds reading this post!

And yes, I love the inflatables AND their names, even if they are not yours. *wink* *wink* (o:

Lolli said...

That was great. I think I might like your Chrsitmas was their names that sold me. In my yard, though, they WOULD look obnoxious.

Daisy Dodo said...

I've already contacted the ACLU and we're suing you for all your worth for your defamatory comments about left-winged dodo birds.

angela said...

Love you Lara, you are hilarous. I have been out of town and couldn't wait to catch up on your blog when I got my hands on my computer!
I LOVE inflatable lawn ornaments. They are awesome and I bet your kids think they are fantastic. They are a bit cheesy, I admit, but fun. Go ahead and decorate however the heck you want to, who cares what other people think!! I personally would draw the line with the giant inflatable Homer Simpson wearing a santa hat that my neighbors enjoy displaying this time of year. But to each his own...

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