The January Swirl

After nearly 18 years of blogging, I have to admit that this blog is still a tool for me to sort through and articulate what's on my brain and lately it's been a lot.  January is a time when a lot of conflicting emotions and anxiety bubble up inside of me.    I think the reasons for this yearly turmoil  are somewhat complicated, including it being in the throes of the darkest/coldest season of the year, but upon reflection, I think  the bulk of these feelings boil down to three main factors: 

1. The post-Christmas let-down and this year it was amplified  by Ellie leaving right in the middle of it all. Our house just feels extra empty now.  

2. That New Year's pressure to do better and be better and wondering what that looks like for me. The holidays, for me, are a time of being a little more lax with exercise, habits, and food, and now I'm staring "getting back to it" in the face and it intimidates me.  Frankly I like being lazy and I like ignoring tasks I don't enjoy, but know that those habits will not yield the results I want long-term. 

3. Last, but not least, January 10th was the anniversary of Spencer's diagnosis with leukemia (13 years ago!!!), so this time of year brings back all sorts of fairly traumatic memories of everything to do with that.   In years' past, I probably could have been diagnosed with PTSD.  I don't think I'm there anymore, but I'm not sure I'll ever escape facing a hodgepodge of difficult emotions this time of year.  

So, that's where I'm at right now.  

In the midst of all this inner turmoil, I'm trying to devote a little more time each day to reflecting on the good parts of my life, of which there are many.  As part of that effort, I'm attempting to restart a habit of writing in a daily gratitude journal and to be better about expressing gratitude to the people around me.  And that's what's brought me to the blog today, to do a little post on some things that I've been extra grateful for lately.

So, here they are, in no particular order: 

My dining room window!    I think I missed all the greenness of the East Coast when we moved here, and have developed a love for houseplants since moving to Utah!  I love the splashes of green around my house and the challenge it is to keep them thriving...a skill I'm still working on!   The hanging plants were a gift from my friend, Jen C, and they were the perfect way to finish off this window.  It makes me super happy every time I walk by!  

My Valentine's decorations.  I think my Christmas decor has gotten a little overwhelming of late and it may be time to pare down on what we put up every year.   As such, I was kind of relieved to take it all down as soon as the New Year hit and pull out the Valentine's decor.   I don't have near as much Valentine's stuff (thankfully), so it gets mixed in with my everyday decor.  I like the way it all came together this year and I love the splashes of red, of which I don't use much of in my daily decor. 

Homemade sourdough bread (that I can't eat).  When asked why do I put effort into baking something I can't enjoy myself, I just have to acknowledge that I do it because it makes my family happy.  I also love the smell of the bread baking and the challenge of making something from scratch. 

Having the college kids home for the holidays.  I LOVED LOVED LOVED having a full house over the holidays and all that that entailed.  I liked cooking in bigger portions, I liked all the conversations, I liked the games, the puzzle, the treats I didn't make myself, and just plain being together.  Eventually I'll get used to the empty house {probably}, but in the meantime, I treasure every time we can gather.

Living at a crossroads.   One of my very favorite parts about living in Utah is living close to our own college kids and the college kids of people we love.   We get to see our nieces, Lauren and McKenzie,  as much (maybe even more) than we did when we all lived in Virginia. 

Pictures from our brand new missionary!  We eagerly look forward to hearing from her and seeing her sweet face each Wednesday she's in the MTC.   I pour over the photos and try to figure out what she's up to in them.  She seems incredibly happy. 

Family phone calls!   One of my favorite parts about having a missionary out, is the way it gets us to drop everything (whenever possible) and join in for a family phone call every week.  I think knowing that she has a limited time to talk makes us expend more effort to join in than if I were just trying to plan a perfect time in advance.   Honestly, it probably won't be too often that we're all on a call, but it is an extra treat when the stars align and it happens! 

Silly moments on the family calls.  Speaking of family phone calls, here's how that ↑↑↑↑↑↑ same phone call started out with just a few of us.  Lucie was being a bit silly and I thought it was hilarious when we all naturally mimicked her facial expression! 

A fun surprise.  The other day I got a notification that my brother, Pete, had Doordashed us a fun treat--gluten free cinnamon sticks from our favorite pizza place (Via313).  It was sent to thank us for driving Lauren and McKenzie to and from the airport.  We didn't need any thanks, but It was a fun surprise nonetheless! 

Last, but not least, I'm grateful for some much needed spiritual nourishment this past weekend.  Because of the aforementioned swirl of emotions in me right now, I  needed a little extra uplift.   It was stake conference and every single talk seemed like it was written for me.  Some people say that all the time with conferences, but that is definitely not my usual experience.   One of the themes was D&C 6:36 and seeking genuine connections...not just with God, but with each other.   It was a timely reminder for me as I sort through all the things in my brain right now!  

And that's all I have for now.  Have an amazing day! 

 

Ten Things that Made Me Smile Recently

If you know me in real life or have been following along with this blog for long, you will probably not be surprised to hear that sometimes I struggle to see the bright side of things.  I came from a family of worriers and I think my brain's natural way to see the world is with wariness, lest anything bad is just about to happen. This is not my favorite part of my personality, but it is how I'm wired, so I have to work really hard to maneuver my way around these tendencies and keep from being a Debbie Downer all the time. 

One of the things I try to do regularly, though probably not regularly enough, is to record some things in my life that are going well and that are making me happy.   My favorite way to do this is to keep a daily gratitude journal where I can write one thing from each day that I'm grateful for.   I go in spurts with it, where I'm really good at it for a while, then I get out of routine and it takes me a while to get back to it.   Here are a couple of my daily logs from earlier this year that show you how random I am with it!  

I haven't kept up my daily gratitude journal in a few months, since it, like many of my other good habits I sometimes keep up, seem to fall by the wayside in the summertime.   Lately I've been feeling like it's time to start it back up again, but, first things first, I want to share a few happy things in my life here with all of you!    Blogging is good for my mental health and I like that what I share here gets preserved for future generations, as well as being an outlet for me to get down what's in my very muddled brain!  
 
TEN THINGS THAT ARE MAKING ME HAPPY

1.  We just returned from Labor Day weekend in Atlanta and got to spend time with everyone but Adam (on his mission) and Spencer (no luck finding care for Kiwi, his pit-pointer mix).   It was a wonderful weekend exploring,eating good food, and just savoring our time with Cami, Garrett, and Lucie who drove 2-hours to meet us there!  Family time makes me incredibly happy!  Stay tuned for a more detailed blogpost coming soon.

2.  I am grateful that our garden is starting to produce like crazy!   As mentioned in this post, gardening is something I'm not that great at, so I'm always extra happy (and honestly a bit surprised) when we start to reap the harvest in our overgrown and late-planted garden.  Yay for fresh fruits and veggies! 

3.  Speaking of gardening, I went out to do a little weeding the other day (the first time all summer) and I wore my pink overalls and listened to a good audiobook.   Every time I looked down at my happy pink outfit, I would think two things #1--how much I like pink, #2--I should probably just embrace my love of pink and  go see the Barbie movie

4.  On a recent walk, I found this big fancy house with a statue/fountain of Charlie Brown dressed as a Greek god.   It totally made me laugh out loud!  

5.  My 94-year-old grandmother just moved out of my parents' basement  to an assisted living center.  I think it was a very difficult move for her, but with her late-onset dementia and my Dad gone, it was definitely time for a new arrangement.  We stopped by to visit with her the other day and she was so happy to see us.   We brought her her favorite cookies and just chatted with her for a bit.   I am grateful that she has found a place that is nearby and that will meet her needs more fully! 

6.  I know it's a bit weird for me to have taken up sourdough bread baking again (since I can't eat it), but I was really proud of how this recent sourdough pizza crust came out.   The gluten eaters of the family very much approved and the bruschetta topping straight from our garden was absolutely delicious!   I had mine on a gluten free "cauliflower thin"! 😋

7.  I was introduced to the goofy .5 pictures by my niece, McKenzie, but it wasn't until my 2-1/2 weeks in Thailand with 21 young people that I realized how obsessed teens are with them! 😂 Here are a few Ellie recently took, though somehow she "forgot" to take one of herself, so the photo of her in the collage is from Thailand.  

8.  If you knew me from Virginia, you probably know that I'm mildly obsessed with making church programs.  It's an ongoing skill/passion of  mine that makes me laugh because of how utterly useless it is.   I'm not sure anyone  looks at them anyway, but it is a weird little thing that makes me incredibly  happy (and provides a creative outlet for me), so here I am doing them again!    Our ward here in Utah didn't do paper programs at all and refused my offer to make them several times before finally giving into my requests.  I was told, though, that it wasn't the paper program they were wanting, but something for the young women to do at church.  So I make them and the young women distribute them. Haha.  Someday I'll find something to do that matters, but in the meantime I'm happy to give the young women a job! 

Another thing that you probably know if you knew me in Virginia, is that I don't like to use any old art on the cover of the programs.  I like to get the ward members involved and use their original art.   In Virginia, I always had a steady stream of art being submitted to me and I only occasionally had to ask for it.   Here in Utah, however,  I have had a really hard time getting  people here on board with my vision.   I was putting my request in the program every week, sending notes to the primary president, asking people with lots of kids, etc. and getting almost nothing.  Finally, I had the great idea of bribery.   I started adding a note in the program that every person who gave me a picture for the program would get candy.  It took a few weeks to catch on, but I am now officially  the candy lady and I usually have a steady stream of kids bringing me their artwork after sacrament meeting--some of it usable and some not.   And I LOVE IT!   I'm happy to be the weird program making candy lady of the ward! 

9.  I know I mention this a lot, but I love that my body is strong and fit and can walk a million miles.  I've gained some weight since my hysterectomy in December, but it's not for lack of exercise!  My daily walks are a HUGE part of what keeps my mental health on the plus side and I'm thankful to live in a beautiful area that means even my neighborhood walks are scenic!  

10.  Speaking of beautiful morning walks, here are a few things I saw on my walk this morning.   A cute little wild turkey family crossing the road, an apple that fell off a tree inches from my face, a deer that totally froze until I was only a couple feet away from it, a horse that peed so loudly I turned around to see what was making all the noise, a cute baby deer just chilling in someone's yard, and fields of wild sunflowers.  

So there you have it...10 things that have made me smile recently!   Now time to get back to the daily gratitude log!   Have an amazing day! 

{Click here if you want to see some of my other gratitude posts from over the years}

Gratitude Today

On this Thanksgiving Day, I want to take this opportunity to express a little about what we currently are each grateful for.    

Glen:
for two days off of work to spend with family.
for me sleeping in past 4:30am finally.  My jet lag was keeping him up and driving him bonkers!

Lara:
for the wonderful opportunities for travel we've had this past year.
to have finally lost the extra weight I've been packing around since right after Spencer got sick.

Spence:
to have been able to see Europe for the first time.
for mom being excited to cook again (and cooking something besides soups)!

Cami (currently known as Soeur G.):
for her first baptism which is scheduled for later this week!
for the opportunity to share the gospel with the wonderful people of France.

Emma:
to have this opportunity to live overseas and explore that part of the world more.
to be able to spend all this time with cute little cousins that adore her.

Adam:
for all the cool adventures he's been on this year.
for finding clothes that actually fit (it's been a struggle!)

Ellie:
for the opportunity to mother's help for people.   She LOVES babies!
for the Hamilton soundtrack, which she plays nonstop!

I'll be baking pies today and eventually we'll all head to my brother's house for dinner!  The Sister missionaries from our ward are supposed to drop by this morning and we are looking forward to that too.  I hope your day is filled with good food, the warmth of a loving family, and a spirit of gratitude in your hearts.    

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!  

I got his picture from an American? family that shared a pre-Thanksgiving lunch with Cami yesterday! 

Taking long hikes on a beautiful fall day is one of my favorite things in life.

I have finally lost my post-Spencer PTSD weight!  

Ellie LOVES hanging out with young children! 

The sky looked sooooooo cool, just before a storm blew in while we  were hiking last Saturday.

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“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.”  

Maya Angelou

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Gratitude for the Moment

Thanksgiving's here and this post is dedicated to some of the things I'm grateful for (in no particular order):

1. a loving husband who supports me in my pursuits 2.  Ellie and her ability to draw a smile out of the grumpiest of souls 3. Five {mostly} great kids who keep me on my toes 4. Emma and the beautiful music she fills our home with 5. Adam's curiosity that makes me want to figure things out right along side him 6.  Cami's weekly FaceTime calls  7. Spencer's continued good health 8. the changing seasons  9. a working washing machine, because when your dryer doesn't work it makes you especially appreciate what does work 10. parents who raised me in the gospel 11. a free hobby (this blog) that keeps me challenged and excited 12.   a Trader Joe's store near the kids' math class, which means I get to do the bulk of my grocery shopping there for the school year 13. the warm fuzzy blankets that I got for a great deal at Costco--they're the perfect weight and stay soft even after washing several times!  14. kids that are happy  to help cook--teaching my kids to cook and allowing them to make their messes in the kitchen is paying for itself ten-fold now that they're older!  15. long walks on beautiful days 16. having the kids home with me during the day  17. sisters who will listen to me when I'm having a bad day 18. a bright and spacious kitchen to cook in 19. it's less than a month until Cami's home for Christmas 20. the Book of Mormon 21. Thirty-three amazing young women from church that I get the privilege of spending time with each week  22.  my terry cloth robe 23. hair dye, because without it I'd be 100% gray 24. my ward's book club that gives me a good excuse to read challenging literature and engage in interesting discussions each month 25. cute shoes that are comfortable too, because otherwise I'd only wear tennis shoes  26. my not-very-hairy arms --it sounds weird, but they're also jiggly and covered with a bajillion freckles, so I am looking for the positives here! 27. a nearby thrift store that makes shopping sooooo much more fun than shopping at department stores 28. children's toothbrushes, because adult ones are too big to reach my back teeth 29. sunny days that make drying clothes outside on the clothesline while our dryer is broken so much easier 30. the ceiling fan in our bedroom that gets the air flowing, so I can actually sleep 31. bridges, so that we don't have to ford rivers and streams anymore 32. cute sweats that I actually dare wear in public  33. good music to energize the day  34.  inspired church leaders who give us guidance for this day and time 35. almond milk, because dairy and me do not agree with each other  36. hot water that comes straight from the tap!  37. Trader Joe's chocolate chips, which are cheap, dairy-free, and oh so good!   38. Madeleine, a beautiful 18-year-old AML fighter from London,  who recently introduced herself to me on FB.  She's on her third bout with this horrible disease and in the short time I've known her she's  become an inspiration to me.  39. automatic "do not disturb" setting on my phone, because it saves me from a lot of late-night group texts among my siblings in an earlier time zone!  40. the gospel of Jesus Christ  that gives me perspective on the hard things we face in life 41. cancer researchers who work diligently to find a cure, especially for those who've dedicated themselves for finding cures for childhood cancers  42. doctors and nurses who devote their lives to working to help sick patients be cured 43. the US postal service--I love sending mail almost as much as I love receiving it 44.Speaking of mail--I'm grateful for Amazon Prime!   For a girl who doesn't love to shop, Amazon Prime is a godsend!  45. later start-time for seminary this year--I seriously feel so much more well-rested being able to get up at 6:00am, rather than 5:15am! 46. dams, because, well...who isn't grateful for dams?  47. a working dishwasher, because we went for a couple of years before our kitchen was redone without one and I am really happy to not be washing dishes by hand today! 48. Christmas cards--mine are already ordered and I can't wait until they start arriving in our mailbox from all over the country!  49. My parents and siblings!  I love how we keep in touch and can easily still talk and laugh together!  50. YOU!   Thank you for visiting my blog today and actually caring enough to read this gargantuan list!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!   

Gratitude Week #1

Every Thanksgiving our family does an activity of some kind to help us to focus more on gratitude.   We've done gratitude trees, a blessing box, going around the table, etc.   Although the actual activity varies somewhat from year-to-year, the concept has always been very similar.   This year we decided to try something a little more personal.

Shortly before Thanksgiving, Glen and I issued a challenge to our family to keep a daily gratitude journal through the end of the year.   Being a person who has always enjoyed keeping a journal anyway, I  have found it to be a surprisingly exhilarating challenge!   I think most of us are pretty good at listing off the obvious answers of family, God, and home when asked to name the things we are grateful for, but I have loved the challenge in finding something note-worthy in each and every average day.  Even the days when I am so busy I can hardly think straight.    Or I'm hormonal and grumpy.   Or  just plain tired! 

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Here's a glimpse at my  journal:

WEEK #1

Day 1--(11/24/14)--I am grateful for a gorgeous day with unseasonably warm temperatures.   The kids and I went on a long walk and enjoyed being outside together.  

Day 2--(11/25/14)--I am grateful for Spencer’s good check-up today at the oncologist.  This appointment marks almost 30 months in remission and I am thrilled for his continued health.

Day 3--(11/26/14)--I am grateful for the beautiful snowfall and the opportunity to get a lot of things accomplished around the house.  

Day 4--(11/27/14)--THANKSGIVING DAY--I am grateful for a beautifully peaceful day, a family who loves to cook,  and lots and lots of delicious homemade food (made by the family who loves to cook).  

Day 5--(11/28/14)--I am grateful for leftover pie, which if you didn’t know makes for a great lunch!  It was also fun to see the excitement of the kids as Glen put up the Christmas tree!

Day 6--(11/29/14)--I am grateful for the opportunity I had this afternoon to help someone in need.   I am also grateful for good friends and the time we spent with them this evening.   

Day 7--(11/30/14)--I am grateful for the testimonies of those around me.   I’m not one to get up to bear my own testimony very often, but I am inspired by others and always leave testimony meetings with a stronger desire to do better.     

I am also grateful to live very near one of the best hospitals in the DC area.  It was a HUGE blessing when Spencer was sick and proved to be a great blessing today too, when I took Glen to the same hospital to address his odd symptoms.

WEEK #2

Day 8--(12/1/14)--I am grateful that all of Glen’s medical tests have come back normal and that he can return home from the hospital this evening.   It was a stark reminder of how hard it is to have someone in the hospital and I am extremely grateful for Spencer’s, and everyone in our family’s health.  

Day 9--(12/2/14)--I am grateful for our ward’s book group and the opportunity it gives me to stretch my mind to read great books that I probably would never naturally be drawn to.   We read “Destiny of the Republic: A Tale of Madness, Medicine and the Murder of a President” by Candice Millard, a nonfiction book interweaving the lives of James Garfield, Alexander Graham Bell, and to a lesser extent Garfield’s murderer.   It was a fascinating read and I am ever in awe of authors who can present nonfiction material in an engaging way that draws you into the story so fully.   I thoroughly enjoyed the discussion and left with  a newfound appreciation for how far the medical field has come, as well as for some great men and women, none of whom I previously knew much about, who have made our country and world a better place.

Day 10--(12/3/14)--I am grateful for the opportunity to take a 20-minute nap this afternoon.  It’s not often that I let myself check-out like that, but today it was a necessary evil so that I could continue functioning on an even minimal level.   I consider early morning seminary to be a huge blessing, but boy does it make me tired!

Day 11--(12/4/14)--I am grateful that we got to spend time with Matt and Karey and family today before they took off this evening for their 3-year stint in England.  We will miss them very much.  

Day 12--(12/5/14)--I am grateful to live so near so many amazing places--both cultural and historical!  Today we saw a performance of the Nutcracker performed by the National Ballet at Catholic University.  Although I was somewhat familiar with the story through the kids’ storybooks, this was the first time I’d ever seen it performed.    We all agreed it was cool to watch, but even already knowing the storyline, the story was very confusing to follow without any words

I am also grateful to have wonderful ladies to work with in YW.   We had a presidency meeting today and once again I am in awe of their hard work and dedication to not only serving the young women of our ward, but also to living the gospel every day!

Day 13--(12/6/14)--I am grateful to have gotten caught up on some housework.  After a couple of “off” weekends, our house was pretty much thrashed.  I’ve been a step-behind the housework all week! I finally got a bunch of laundry done, the kids finally did their Saturday chores, and I’m hoping that the dishes are done with overflowing out of the sink.  

I am also grateful for good friends who not only are kind, but thoughtful too.  

Day 14--(12/7/14)--I am grateful for a wonderful day at stake conference, for the opportunity we had to take long (and brisk) walk around Burke Lake.  I am also grateful for the two bald eagles we saw as we were walking!

1-1/2 Year Check-Up!

Happy early Thanksgiving to us!

Spencer had his 18-month check-up today at the cancer center in Harrisonburg
and we are thrilled that all is still good.

It was interesting to hear while the new oncologist was reviewing his file with him, that she kept mentioning how aggressive his treatment protocol had been.  Finally I asked and she informed me that adults with AML are not treated as aggressively as pediatric patients, because their older bodies can't handle the damage the chemo does to their organs.  I had no idea!

After his appointment, we piled back into the car for some Grilled Cheese Mania (our favorite H-burg restaurant) and met the owner for the first time.  After the delicious dinner (I got the Mama Mania sandwich--which was a perfectly spicy, pesto, tomato, and fresh mozzarella panini) we took the two hour drive back home, wherein I finally gave way to Cami's begging and let her drive the last 20 miles or so. 

Now we are all back under one roof again for the first time in nearly three months. It is an amazingly comforting feeling and my heart is nearly bursting to think that we've got a blessed ten days together!



Clinic Stats:  
Weight:  73 kg    WBC: 7.5    RBC: 4.53  Platelets:  162   Hgb:  15.3



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Glen's Facebook update this evening:
 I believe in miracles. I've seen too many of them in my life to deny. My 18-year old son just had his 18-month check up to see how he's doing in his battle against Leukemia. Well, Spencer remains cancer free! First of all, congrats Spence - we love you!!! Second, there's a story in the "Good Book" about 10 lepers that had contracted a hideous, degrading, embarrassing, ostracizing and life shortening disease. As Christ passed by them, he was filled with compassion and physically healed all 10 of them. Only one of them returned to thank Jesus for restoring his life back to him. Christ told that one individual that his gratitude allowed him to be healed spiritually in addition to being healed physically. Today, I say thank you to my God for the miracle of healing my son and helping him remain cancer free for these past 18 months. The odds were not pretty when we started this journey, and to see Spencer healthy, in college and cancer-free, well, to me is an amazing miracle. What a great way to head into Thanksgiving to have this (and so many other things) to be grateful for!

Four Things....

Glen's been working long hours the last couple of weeks. We are hoping that the long hours are temporary and will eventually lead to more opportunities later, but right now I am just tired and wishing for more time with my hunny!  Today I was feeling particularly discouraged at how little we've seen of him lately and I decided that I  needed to stop being negative and instead refocus my thoughts and remember some of the many things we have to be grateful for right now.  This list could be a mile long, but here are a few that popped into my head tonight:

1.  These amazing young women who are busy from morning until night and yet still make the effort to come to mutual on Tuesday nights!  Tonight we made fleece blankets and headbands for Inova Fairfax Children's Hospital (the place where Spencer stayed for 6 months during his treatment for leukemia).

2.  Four-day weekends where we can sleep in past 5:00am and enjoy the opportunity to spend time together with the kids outside in this gorgeous autumn weather!

3.    Cousins!    I never had a cousin live within 1000 miles of me growing up and  I love that my kids live near enough to theirs that they are friends.

4.  A kitchen that's almost done!   Only a couple more minor things to tweak, a fridge to install, then just the painting and the floors are left!

Woo hoo! 

Gratitude Moments

I have to say that with Ellie's baptism and a trip to Utah, that it's mostly been a pretty happy couple of weeks around here.  However there's been a little blight in all this happiness when I found out this week that one of the fellow AML patients  we connected with this past year has relapsed for a third time and has been placed on hospice care.  My heart has seriously been breaking for young Brielle's family and I've found myself more upset about it than I would have expected.  I am using the blog tonight for a dose of free therapy and trying to help my heart focus on some of the gratitude moments I've had over the last couple of weeks.

• This sketch.  One of the missionaries serving in our ward is an artist and presented this sketch to Ellie as a gift for her 8th birthday and baptism.  She is ecstatic about having her own original work of art and will not allow anyone to touch it until it is framed.   I have found myself admiring it many times over the last several days and finding solace in its beauty and message.  

• One of my kids who was telling me all about how much a hangnail hurt, except he kept referring to it as a "cliffhanger" instead of a hangnail.  It cracked me up, although for the sake of his pride I had to pretend it was normal to have a painful cliffhanger on your baby toe. 

• Glen came home from his business trip!  I was off kilter all week without him, but by Friday I was a such a mess that I totally slept through my alarm that I'd accidentally turned to the lowest volume and missed waking the kids up for seminary.   It was the first time we've done that in nearly four years of early morning seminary.  

• Two men gave us flowers this week and neither of them was Glen!   The day before Easter one of our favorite teachers from the elementary school came by and presented us with these Easter lilies.  Four of our five kids have had him for a teacher and although we are sad that Ellie will never be in his class, we feel blessed for the kids that have had the privilege of being in his classroom over the years.   The second bouquet of flowers came from the cashier at Trader Joes.  He was a tad grumpy when he kept calling for bagging help and no one ever came.  I think he felt guilty and gave the flowers as a conciliatory gesture for showing his frustration in front of a customer. In any case, I love having not one, but two bouquets of flowers to officially welcome the commencement of real spring-like weather this week! 

• Cute nieces and nephews who make me smile and feel younger than I really am..

• I impressed Spence and Cam when I used a teenage slang word correctly.    I simply told Spence to "sice" me some gas at the station and instantly I became .0000001% cooler in the eyes of my teenagers.  And to think I was just trying to stay in the warm car and out of the whipping wind. 

• General Conference!!!   Twice a year we Mormons have the privilege of spending two days watching modern-day apostles and a prophet teach and inspire us.  What a blessing it is to know that God still speaks to us today. 

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A sampling of the kind of inspiring message we hear at General Conference:

"Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely.  Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly.  Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely....  He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken."
                                                                                                       Dieter F. Uchtdorf (October 2009)

One-by-One

Each Thanksgiving, we have an activity where each member of the family writes on a slip of paper the things they are grateful for at that time.  Depending on the year, sometimes it's a one-time deal.  Other times we try to keep it up during the whole month of November.  Some years I'm creative and have the slips of paper cut into cutesy autumn shapes, while other years we rip off corners of paper and throw them into a shoebox. However formal we are or aren't though, reading through the slips always proves to be an entertaining experience, while we get a little glimpse into everyone's state of the mind at the time they wrote the slip.  We've read things like "I'm grateful for rolling down the hill," and "I'm grateful for being able to take a nap in homeroom." and "I'm grateful for squirrels," and "I'm grateful that I didn't swear when that guy cut me off today."


We haven't started our Blessing Box yet this year, but sometime over the next few days we will gather as a family and each write down some of our blessings. 

I envision it being a very full box this year. 


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Here are some of the entries I plan on putting into the box: 

• Doctors that were responsive to our concerns and got the ball rolling for Spencer to get diagnosed on the day he did.

• A former boss who offered a generous severance package for Glen to stop working for them

• The HR employee who was helping Glen through his termination papers, who was so stricken with our situation that she became our advocate and made sure that we stayed insured at far less cost than most people incur for COBRA insurance.

• Family who traveled across the country on a moment's notice to lend their assistance and ensure that our kids' lives could stay as normal as possible while we were taking care of Spencer. 

• Excellent insurance which required us to only pay very little out-of-pocket expense for Spencer's $250,000+ treatment for leukemia  {we heard several times during his treatment that our insurance was among the best they'd ever seen}

• Myriads of doctors and nurses who used their skills to help Spencer's body to regain its health.

• The opportunity to work through the swirl of my emotions by writing on this blog.

• Dozens of friends who filled sign-up sheet after sign-up sheet (usually within mere minutes of them being published), so that our family could continue eating delicious and nourishing food while we took up residence in the hospital with Spence.

• A strong network of friends, young and old, who visited regularly and made sure that Spencer was never lonely during his months in the hospital.

• The kids' elementary school teachers who not only were sensitive to our upside down home life last school year, but also went out of their way to show support to Spencer and to us. They seriously couldn't have been any more amazing.

• The Gospel of Jesus Christ which kept us grounded and gave us the courage and perspective we needed to face this challenge.

• A whole network of people around the world (many who we didn't even know) that sent cards and gifts, and most importantly just prayed for our son. The thought still brings tears to my eyes.

• The scriptures, which brought so much comfort to me--especially on those quiet mornings in the hospital when Spence would sleep late and I had none of my normal morning responsibilities.

• Family that has continued to come visit us, even after he was better.

• New callings at church, which we both love.

• Five months of clean check-ups. 

• A fitness challenge to help us get back into a better life balance.

• A new job that Glen is excited about.

• God's comfort and guidance through every step of the way, along with the knowledge that even in the darkest moments of our lives, that we are not forgotten.

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And with that, I sign off today with one of my favorite Thanksgiving hymns and the wish that your Thanksgiving will be filled with love, joy, and lots of good food!  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Top Ten of this Week

Truth be told, it's been a rather long, tiring week. 

It's not that anything bad has happened...

it's more that I'm just sleep deprived and have a lot on my brain.  

My brain likes to vent in writing, so I just wrote a rambling post complaining about some of the annoying happenings of our week.  It was all ready to publish.

Then I decided that I didn't really want to depress anyone else anymore than I wanted to remind my future self how petty and grumpy I get when I don't sleep enough. 

So tonight, instead of complaining, I'm going all Pollyanna on you and playing the "Glad Game" instead.

I present to you the top ten glad happenings from this week!

10--Going to parent-teacher conferences for the younger kids and hearing about how not only are they doing well in school, but that they're also hard-working, respectful, and get along well with others.  Seriously, nothing makes me prouder! 

9--Made two awesome new recipes in a row (Creamy Mexican Chowder and BBQ Chicken and Potato Casserole)  Both will be appearing on Recipe Shoebox sometime in the next few weeks! 

8-- Got out of Costco with five happy kids (two of which were not my own) and a total of less than $200.   (see picture below)

7--My friend, Jenny, agreed to come to YW and teach us all how to make her delicious homemade caramel apples.  It was a fun night spent with the young women and I am happy to be bulking up on  chocolate/caramel before our family's upcoming fitness challenge.  (see item #1)

6--I took the kids on a trip to the zoo on one of the days off.  It was a bit chilly that day, but I loved having all the kids together for an outing as it rarely happens anymore.  (see picture)

5--A seven-year-old who still says cute things on an almost daily basis, especially since the rest of the kids seem to have outgrown that stage.   This week I loved hearing her pray for the people in "Yew Nork" and watching her bubble with excitement when I finally found a playdate for her.    She's had two of her best friends move away in the last few months and we've really struggled to help her find new playmates.   

4--realizing that I've got my sister, K, totally hooked on the Iphone/Ipad game, Scramble.  A take-off of Boggle, my family loves this game and is quite good at it (if I do say so myself).  It has been fun to see their family learn to enjoy it too.    (In case you're looking for a new challenger, our user name is:  wawadehut25) 

3--Spencer signed up to participate in winter track.  He mostly means his participation to be a means to get in shape for lacrosse, but it's his first foray back into sports since being sick and we're thrilled that he's healthy enough to participate! 

2--being a part of the amazing winter clothing drive for the people in New York and New Jersey.  Glen drove one of five trucks up there on Tuesday (they added one more truck at the last minute) and the people on the receiving end were so appreciative.   The coats and other outdoor winter clothing were already given to the Red Cross to distribute quickly before the winter storm hit. 

1--Learning that my sister is hosting a family fitness challenge starting next week.  Those months in the hospital, followed by the success of Cami's cupcake business this summer has not done kind things to my waistline.  We did a similar challenge a few years ago  (click on the link to see what it was all about) and loved how it focused not only on eating better and exercising more, but also includes spiritual fitness (like reading the scriptures and having FHE ).   I am very much looking forward to a little positive peer pressure to help whip me back into shape! 

at the zoo

Ellie can still get me to smile on even the grumpiest day

A couple of the  beautiful YW and their lovely caramel apple creations!

BBQ chicken potato casserole....delish!

Creamy Mexican Chowder...a new family favorite!

♫ONLY $179 at Costco?!  Hallelujah! ♫