Change of Plans...

For years I wondered if the day would ever come that I could volunteer at the school without a preschooler in tow. Or if I could ever randomly go to lunch with a friend without ordering a kids' meal too.

Now I'm here. My baby's in kindergarten.

I got a little teary eyed watching Ellie get on the bus the first few days, but after she came home giggling about how every day was "perfect", it was hard not to be excited for her. It was also amazing to me to watch the positive changes she went through in just the first couple weeks of school. She somehow suddenly seemed more independent and creative and I knew this was the best place she could be right now.

But I miss having a preschooler in the house. I miss the connections with the other moms in our co-op preschools I've participated in for 10+ years. I miss the fun field trips around town. And I miss my "buddy".

So I filled my life with PTA responsibilities and homeschooling Cami. It was busy, but good.

Then a week-and-a-half ago everything changed...

One day Ellie randomly started having "petit mal" seizures. Several a day, every day.

She acts totally normal most of the time, which means lots of giggles, silly stories, and boundless energy, but then she just stops whatever she's doing and goes completely unresponsive. We can scream her name, wave our hands in front of her face, and even touch her and she stays totally blank for 5-10 seconds. Then she picks up where she left off. It's all disconcerting to say the least.

So the last week-and-a-half has been filled with doctors' appointments, medical tests, and keeping a really close eye on her. Some of the possible diagnoses are relatively straightforward (although still life-altering) and others are too stressful to dwell on until we know more information.

Not quite the entry into kindergarten that we'd envisioned for our baby.

But it did give me a good excuse to whisk her off to Cox Farms for some good old fashioned autumn fun, since she was out of school anyway. She loved the rope swing...

And Cami didn't mind it too much either...

She was in love with this mama pig and all of the babies....

And of course we couldn't miss the hay ride. I've ridden every year for the last decade and it would have been sad to miss out on the sore bum....


We also discovered a new favorite kids' book. My Chincoteague Pony by Susan Jeffers. Ellie loves ponies and this book is seriously so, so sweet, that I actually tear up when I read it to her.

And here's Ellie holding up her favorite page in the book, when Julie finally gets her pony, thanks to the kindness of strangers all around her. sniff, sniff....
The last 10 days have been a total whirlwind and I know there will be many more crazy days to come. However, I've totally loved this bonus time with Ellie, even if it wasn't exactly how I would have planned it. I have bad days where I worry and cry for her future, but most days I am peaceful and can feel the comforting influence that only God can give. Between Women's Conference last week and General Conference this weekend, I have been uplifted and inspired and I know that I've got a lot to learn about faith and trust and patience through this experience. My heart is also filled when I think of the loving, supportive friends and family who have already helped make this new journey in our lives a little easier to bear....


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