Good News?

I know that there are some of you that have been patiently awaiting an update on how Ellie's MRI went, so since it's been almost four days now since she had it, I think I can officially say that...

No news is good news! 

We feel pretty confident that if they had found anything abnormal (like a brain tumor, which is what they were checking for) that we would definitely have heard something by now.    Although we haven't officially heard the results yet, we feel like we're past the critical/scary part of this introduction into epilepsy, and are looking forward to adjusting to this new challenge in our lives.   
I also wanted to take this opportunity to tell you how much we appreciate  your support and prayers through this.

I still have days when tears come easily over worrying about what her future may be, but all in all I have felt more peaceful and calm through this than I ever would have thought I would be in this kind of situation.  I know that we have been blessed and comforted through this far more than we even know. 

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"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. "     Proverbs 3:5-6 

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And since I don't want to be totally boring, here's a picture of Ellie and Daddy on her post-MRI daddy/daughter date to Build-A-Bear.  We had to wait a couple of days until she was feeling up to it, but she was so excited for her first-ever trip there.  We're going to have to be so careful not to spoil this little cutie....

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Ellie

(I'm transferring this post over from my other blog...if you want to read the comments go there.)

In answer to your questions: 

• Ellie is having her MRI on Thursday, which was a direct answer to our prayers.  They'd originally scheduled it for October 27 and we hated having to worry for that long.    Because of her young age (and propensity for wiggling), the MRI has to be done under sedation at the hospital.  Her safety during the procedure is now the focus of our prayers. 

• Based on the kinds of seizures that she's having (petit mal) and the lack of other symptoms, the neurologist does not expect there to be any abnormalities with the MRI, but just wants to make sure. 
  
• Ellie has 15-20 noticeable seizures a day and the only way they are noticeable is if I'm in the same room with her and/or interacting with her.  The doctor estimates that she's having dozens upon dozens more each day that go unnoticed. Unless you were interacting directly with her, you may not ever notice one of her seizures, but all those seizures in a day in 10-15 second increments sure make for a lot of missed cognizance in a day for her.         

• Ellie is back to school this week.  The school is holding a seizure training session with all of the teachers that Ellie comes in contact with during a day.   They will be trained on how to notice the seizures and how to redirect her when she regains consciousness.  They will also be trained on what to do if she ever has a grand mal seizure, which although somewhat unlikely still, is more likely now that she officially has epilepsy.  

• Ellie has no idea why she's going through all this.  She thinks that a seizure has something to do with the little cough she had last week.  We have no idea how to tell her any more than that. 

• If Ellie is walking when a seizure occurs, she sometimes  clumsily and absently keeps walking, although she's totally unresponsive and unaware of her surroundings.  I'm very worried about her playing in high places (like the play equipment at school), but so sad to have to ostracize her in that way. 

• It's looking more and more like she has Childhood Absence Epilepsy, which is considered among the most mild and treatable forms of epilepsy.  Children often outgrow it in adolescence, although having epilepsy at all makes her much more prone to other forms of epilepsy later in life. 

• The doctor has prescribed a medicine for her, which she will start taking twice a day in very small doses.  We're a little on the anti-medicine way of thinking, but feel strongly that for Ellie's quality of life we need to be diligent with it.  It is our hope that side effects will be nonexistent or minimal.

• Your kind comments and prayers are very much appreciated.  :)

• Totally off topic, but, yes, I'm doing strange things with this blog (hence all the missing posts).  All will be revealed shortly. 

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Change of Plans...

For years I wondered if the day would ever come that I could volunteer at the school without a preschooler in tow. Or if I could ever randomly go to lunch with a friend without ordering a kids' meal too.

Now I'm here. My baby's in kindergarten.

I got a little teary eyed watching Ellie get on the bus the first few days, but after she came home giggling about how every day was "perfect", it was hard not to be excited for her. It was also amazing to me to watch the positive changes she went through in just the first couple weeks of school. She somehow suddenly seemed more independent and creative and I knew this was the best place she could be right now.

But I miss having a preschooler in the house. I miss the connections with the other moms in our co-op preschools I've participated in for 10+ years. I miss the fun field trips around town. And I miss my "buddy".

So I filled my life with PTA responsibilities and homeschooling Cami. It was busy, but good.

Then a week-and-a-half ago everything changed...

One day Ellie randomly started having "petit mal" seizures. Several a day, every day.

She acts totally normal most of the time, which means lots of giggles, silly stories, and boundless energy, but then she just stops whatever she's doing and goes completely unresponsive. We can scream her name, wave our hands in front of her face, and even touch her and she stays totally blank for 5-10 seconds. Then she picks up where she left off. It's all disconcerting to say the least.

So the last week-and-a-half has been filled with doctors' appointments, medical tests, and keeping a really close eye on her. Some of the possible diagnoses are relatively straightforward (although still life-altering) and others are too stressful to dwell on until we know more information.

Not quite the entry into kindergarten that we'd envisioned for our baby.

But it did give me a good excuse to whisk her off to Cox Farms for some good old fashioned autumn fun, since she was out of school anyway. She loved the rope swing...

And Cami didn't mind it too much either...

She was in love with this mama pig and all of the babies....

And of course we couldn't miss the hay ride. I've ridden every year for the last decade and it would have been sad to miss out on the sore bum....


We also discovered a new favorite kids' book. My Chincoteague Pony by Susan Jeffers. Ellie loves ponies and this book is seriously so, so sweet, that I actually tear up when I read it to her.

And here's Ellie holding up her favorite page in the book, when Julie finally gets her pony, thanks to the kindness of strangers all around her. sniff, sniff....
The last 10 days have been a total whirlwind and I know there will be many more crazy days to come. However, I've totally loved this bonus time with Ellie, even if it wasn't exactly how I would have planned it. I have bad days where I worry and cry for her future, but most days I am peaceful and can feel the comforting influence that only God can give. Between Women's Conference last week and General Conference this weekend, I have been uplifted and inspired and I know that I've got a lot to learn about faith and trust and patience through this experience. My heart is also filled when I think of the loving, supportive friends and family who have already helped make this new journey in our lives a little easier to bear....


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We Am Smart

Ever since 4th grade when I won the White Bear Lake school district spelling bee with a winning word of "vaccination," I've had this Freudian sense of moral superiority when it comes to spelling.  

I scoff at incorrectly used contractions.

I laugh maniacally at paper stores who misspell the word "stationery".

I still look back with a sort of sick glee the day I completely flummoxed my 7th grade social studies teacher when I told him in front of the whole class that he'd misspelled the word "genealogy" on the chalkboard.  He was so sure that he was right that he looked it up in front of the whole class and had to totally eat his words.  The thought still gives me happy goosebumps.

 

So now that you know what a spelling geek I really am (yes, that is a personalized dictionary), I should probably disclose to you that my spelling prowess does not carry over into comma usage, mopping floors, or late-night typing (which pretty much includes 99.63% of all my blog posts). 

It does, however, carry over into snorting giggling fits over a high school chemistry worksheet that confidently declares that 60 seconds=1 hour. 

Well that explains a lot!     Here I was thinking I was getting 6 or so hours of sleep a night, when really it was only about 360 seconds. 

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Another Burned Dinner Day...

Lately it seems that I've been experiencing a few too many burned dinner days.  It's not that I keep overcooking the food like I did tonight, but rather it's that despite my best efforts,  some things in my life just aren't turning out the way I expect/want them to.

I'm getting to face new kinds of challenges.  I'm learning to be patient.  I'm learning to trust the Lord's plan. I'm learning to pick up the blackened scraps left of my expectations and trying to recreate it into something edible again.  Hopefully better than what it would have been originally.

Unfortunately, in the process, I definitely have done more than my fair share of being grumpy with the kids, muttering curse words at clueless motorists, and complaining openly here on the blog (sorry).

But also I have found my heart turning inwards and bringing to my memory the countless blessings in my life.  My wonderful, supportive husband.  The gift of eternal families.  5 sweet kids.  Comfort in my worries.  A loving, supportive network of friends and family.  

"Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us."     ~Pres. Thomas S. Monson~

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Check it out....

I'm a guest blogger today over at We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ.
 
Thank you to Jocelyn for allowing me the opportunity to participate in your wonderful month-long tribute to the Family Proclamation! 

Flashback Friday: Family Home Evening Fights

The other day I was contemplating life and how it was that I became a blogger.  What was it that took me from my first post on dial-up internet to feeling like it was an important part of my life?

 Sure I like sharing stories and ideas from the trenches of motherhood.  I like taking and sharing photographs.  And, to be totally honest, I frankly enjoy the attention blogging brings as well.  But that still didn't explain it completely.

Then one day recently in the midst of reorganizing the basement it struck me.  I had just put several volumes of my journal up on the shelf and thought, "This is it."  I've filled journal after journal with my ramblings since I was 8-years-old.  Although I've never considered myself much of a writer, I definitely have always used writing as an outlet in my life.

Blogging has given me the outlet to write, to share photos, and to make a fool of myself in the name of a good post.

So, today's Flashback Friday is a little tribute to my journals--past and present.  Sadly for you it won't have any photos of my teased hair, embarrassing costumes, or buck teeth, but it will show you a little glimpse into my 12-year-old brain (and my family).    

I had used my journal to take notes through Family Home Evening one night...

TRANSLATION:   Sunday, February 16, 1986 (12-years-old, 7th grade)

We are getting ready to have Family Home Evening (FHE).  Here is what we're doing for FHE.  We have a fire on the fireplace.
Conducting: Kristina RaChel
Song chosen by: Mom: The Iron Rod
Song chosen by: Nathaniel: I Hope They Call Me on a Mission
Song chosen by: Me: The [Books of the] New Testament
Song chosen by: Peter: The Time is Far Spent
Song chosen by: Matthew:  Happy Birthday to Me (cause mine's next)
Song chosen by:  Heather:  I am a Child of God
Opening prayer given by Dad
Then we have  going over our calendar time.
Lesson given by: Mom
About:  Our Lessons that we had in our [church] class
Closing prayer: By Dad

Funny.  It was like I knew I was going to blog someday and would need some good material.   

(As a credit to my Mom and Dad--they were diehard with Family Home Evenings and would persevere with having them every week despite the occasional unhappy ending, that most likely revolved around some sibling provocation instigated by me---hence the reason for me not sharing the instigator's name in my entry.)

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Summer Reading List

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.” Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Well, today my life either officially became the basis for a brand new episode of "I Love Lucy" or someone's playing a big practical joke on me.  

I can hear the laughtrack now as the camera pans to me as I forget commitments, babysit 6 kids, wipe marker off a toddler's belly, our dog escapes by climbing over the fence, have my car battery die, and then while I moan on the phone about what a crazy day I am having, a bird poops on my head.  Yes, right on my head, dripping down into my ear.

Hehe.  Someone's laughing, right? 

So, enough of the complaining.  Heaven knows I've done enough of that lately. 

This is a post I've been wanting to do for a while now.  Most of you long-time blog readers know that I love to read, so this post is dedicated to showing a glimpse at mine and Glen's summer reading lists.   Here's mine...a mix of modern and classic and self-help.  A little over 3500 pages. 

 
Here's Glen's...some modern, motivational, some scriptural.  (He read the Doctrine and Covenants, not the entire standard works.)  :)

I was pretty impressed that Glen's list almost matched mine in volume.  I attribute that to my stellar influence on him over the last 17 years, since he rarely read for pleasure until a few years ago.  Stellar influence or boredom at waiting for me to finish up...

It's a good thing I read when I had the chance, because not only do I not have much time to read anymore, but I'm pretty sure I'd fall asleep in two seconds flat if I even sat down these days.

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Challenge Schmallenge

Remember the Fitness Challenge? 

Well I didn't win.  

Nope, the money was split between the administrator of the contest and another participant.  Yes, that would be the same administrator who picked all of the mystery points each week. The mystery points that were not revealed to the rest of us until the week was over, so we all had to wait on pins and needles to find out what it was and just hope that we had done it (or not done it).    Most likely she was totally honest and picked it blindly at the end of the week like she should have, but if it were my fitness challenge,  the participants would get to take a turn picking the mystery points, just to be totally above board. 

So, enough with the petty complaining, I have a serious gripe now.

The final week of the challenge, the same administrator who took home half the money, decided that the weekly challenge would be to run 13.1 miles during the week.  Not all at once or anything, just in cumulative during the week.  No problem.  I was already running more than that anyway.

But wait.  Miss Diehard Administrator, who was going to win the contest anyway, decided that it wasn't challenging enough yet.  She decided that  the 13.1 miles had to be IN ADDITION to the 1/2 hour of daily exercising that was the normal part of the challenge.  In other words, we were to go against all fitness guidelines about only increasing your intensity by no more than 10% per week and increase by closer to 75% in one week.

Which brings me to the 6:15 appointment I had last Tuesday morning.  The appointment to find out why my foot has been hurting like the dickens ever since the last week of the challenge three weeks ago.    The doctor taped almonds to my foot to mark the points of pain, so the technician could focus in on those spots. 

Turns out the MRI didn't tell me anything about my foot pain...



But while they were in there looking at that same side of the same foot, they were able to confirm that yes, indeed, my pinky toe is broken. 

What does all this mean?  It means all the good exercising habits I spent 12 weeks developing are gone, gone, gone just like that...

And in addition to being in pain, I'm a tad bitter too.

(Disclosure:  The administrator is a stranger to me  and to her credit I never spoke up about these aspects that made me uncomfortable/bitter.   I also do have to say that the fitness challenge in general was a very good thing for both Glen and I.  It was the first time in years I'd put all the pieces together--exercising and eating healthy--and for that part I am very grateful.   I'm more mad at myself for not speaking up about things as I am at the administrator who was just doing her job (and kicking butt at the fitness challenge.))  

Ward Camp-Out: Glen/Lara Style

 1.  Dress in layers and let the kids pack their own bags...

sp

2.   Plan for some good old-fashioned tin-foil dinners....  

Oh, look at that....Chick-fil-A sandwiches come wrapped in foil. 

3.  Hurry and set up ginormous tent before dark...

4.  Play hard, run hard, eat too many s'mores, stay up too late, wake everyone up because you have to pee in the middle of the night....

5.  Wake up at crack of dawn and eat pancakes and Bruce Nielson's (in)famous Spam burgers....

(This picture was actually taken this morning.  There were a couple of people (me) that were sad that they didn't get to try one at the camp-out, so Glen got the "recipe" from Bro. Nielson and made them for our Sunday brunch.) 

6.   Pack up.  Go home.  Unpack car.  Start in on the 23 loads of laundry. Crash. 

7.  Cook tin-foil dinners in oven and eat them at home...

Mmm...doesn't that look appetizing?   




Repeat:  Once a year, every September.

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No Reason...

♥♥♥It's not our anniversary.  It's not his birthday.  Today I'm just feeling particularly
grateful today for Glen.  For almost 17 years, he's been a good, kind, sweet, gentle,
hard-working, and, in general, awesome husband.  ♥♥♥

Fuzzy Math?

Sleepless night
+ 6:15am appointment
+ almonds taped to my skin (nothing to do with allergies)
+ ear plugs
+ missed school bus
+ 2 failed nap attempts
+ dog food in my pink fuzzy slippers
+ discovered mascarpone cheese
+ America's Got Talent finals (I like them all and can't decide who I want to win)
+ laughing hysterically over a new Geico commercial

= Lara's kind of strange day

So how was your day?

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#1 Cause of All Fights in Our House

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Breakfasts and Desserts...

Sounds weird, huh?
Wait until you hear about what specifically they fight about. 

It's not over who got the bigger portion...
It's not over who has to clean up afterward....
It's not over who got the last one...

The #1 cause of all fights in our house (by a mile) is over who gets to cook breakfast or dessert.

The arguments usually occur between Emma and Cami who now "call" their day to cook several days in advance, but even Adam and Ellie have started to vie for their turns in the kitchen as well.  

Before you say something like, "It must be nice to have kids so eager to cook."   Just remember that I'm trying to keep the weight off and having fancy breakfasts several days a week does NOT help in that matter.  Not to mention the fact, that when I say that they "call" their days several days in advance, I mean that  they usually yell at each other for 5 minutes claiming that it was their turn to make the pancakes that day and that by golly they're going to take their turn the next day.   Then I hear fourteen times before then, "Remember, it's my turn to make breakfast tomorrow..."

And desserts are even worse.  Now that we only have them once a week, it is all-out war over who's cooking and what they're going to cook and whether or not they'll let anyone add any of the ingredients. 

Of course, there is an upside to all this contention interest in the kitchen....

99% of all breakfast and dessert recipes I post on Recipe Shoebox are made by the kids and I can't even remember the last time I had to flip a pancake.

Flashback Friday: The Super Stylish Shirt

The Shirt: 

circa 2010 

 

circa 2006

circa 1983

A couple random thoughts:

1.  How is it that homemade clothes can last approximately 27 years longer than the clothes I buy at Kohls? 

2.  These pictures are exhibit A for why my camera was worth every penny.  It's amazing to see the quality difference even in the 2 most recent pictures.

3.  Why can't grown women wear cute loosely fitted shirts like that without someone asking when you're due? 

4.  Whatever money my parents put towards my orthodontic work was money well spent!