Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Curse of the Evil Bike Rack

Looks innocent enough, eh?
Watch closely what happens when taking groceries out of the trunk...

Out of sight, out of mind...
Doo de doo de doo...just SLAMMING the trunk shut.

"AAAAAAH!" Where the heck did that come from?

Oh the pain!

The agony!

My shoulder, my head, my arm!

True story FIVE times over!

The victim four of those times...ME! Don't tell me...I know I'm a slow learner.

The fifth poor, unsuspecting sister Kristina who left our house with a big enough bruise that California social services accused me of beating her up (I told them not to worry and that I haven't done that in like 20 years or so).

So after all this violence I'm issuing Glen an ultimatum...either he starts riding his bike or that evil contraption is OUT OF HERE!

Disclaimer: All actors were semi-willing participants who would never have agreed to pose under normal circumstances, but since they felt a certain amount of guilt for the pain and agony suffered by the poor, innocent camera woman they decided it was the least they could do to humor her.


glen said...

I resent that! I have used the bike rack many times - just not in the last 3 months while I have been running to get ready for the marathon. Now that I have a 100 mile bike ride to prepare for - I will use it plenty again. I'm just waiting for my wife to buy into the 100 mile bike ride in Utah in May thing and the bike rack will be back to fulfilling the measure of its creation (rather than decimating unsuspecting pedestrians)!

Lara said...

When I actually see it being used again I'll think about issuing the meantime my head is still smarting from the last attack.

Charlene said...

you guys are too funny. I enjoy your blog very much! Are you thinking of doing a 100 mile bike ride in Utah?

K said...

Thankfully my wound has healed and Lara didn't get "deported" to Cali to face the charges that could've stemmed from my GIANT bruise (and all the childhood pinch marks).

I also laughed hard reading your post. I liked Glen's reenactment!

Steve-Rosanna said...

The Academy Award nominations just came out and to no one's surprise Glen's name was not included.

Poor guy could've used a stunt double for that nasty backflip.

Can we consider this as a formal announcement of your coming out for a visit in May? Seems a bit early since school won't be out until June.

Probably ought to talk to your Uncle Buddy who will no doubt want to ride the 100-miler with you.

Denise said...


oh, sorry to laught, not at your pain Lara, but at the AWESOME reenactment.

Matthew said...

Add me to the list. I have attacked by the bike rack at least once, and I think twice (it may have hit my head that hard). The time that I remember for sure, it took off my glasses and thankfully I am made of steel, so it did not hurt me otherwise :)

glen said...

The still pictures don't do the performance justice - it was definitely Oscar-worthy in real time (in my un-biased opinion)! The impact especially was much more dramatic.

Charlene - yes, I am considering riding the "Cycle Salt Lake Century" in May. However, see the "need my wife to buy in" comment above (not that I am intending to pester Lara)!

Steve - I would love it if Buddy were interested. My brother Alex is actually leading the charge, and as of right now, our initial plan is to ride with him, my dad, and me. Buddy would be a welcomed addition though if he wanted - the more the merrier! Not sure how the details would work at this point (certainly not formal yet), but it is unlikely the whole family would come due to the school problem you mention. However, Alex is also trying to talk me into a 1/2 Iron Man triathlon in August. If that works out, we no doubt would bring the whole crew (subject yet again to the wife buying in idea).

Pete said...


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