Lazy Mom's Guide to Planning a Birthday Party

WEEK OR TWO BEFORE PARTY:

1. Choose a theme: "Oh look! Wal-mart has 'Cars' plates and a dinosaur pinata. I bet Adam will love a dinosaur themed Cars party."
2. Pick a date: "No lessons or games on Monday afternoon...okay next Monday it is."

3. Pick your guests: "If he only invites people from last year's preschool group I won't have to look up anybody's number."

4. Give out invitations (week before, if convenient): "Everyone should be at the Primary activity, I'll just hunt people down there."

5 HOURS BEFORE PARTY

5. Clean your house: "Never mind the play room, bathroom, or the bedrooms. I've been meaning to clean out this cupboard for weeks."


4 HOURS BEFORE PARTY:

Fish out crumpled invitations from purse and frantically call the four guests who didn't happen to be at the Primary activity as expected: "I'm really sorry. No, it's not personal. I know everyone around you got invitations, but really I meant to invite your child too. I just didn't happen to see you that one day, you know how it is."

2 HOURS BEFORE PARTY:

6. Plan your menu: "I have chocolate cake mix, but no eggs. I have hot dogs, but no buns. And I have pretzels. Hmmm...okay I guess we're having eggless chocolate cupcakes, bunless hot dogs, and pretzels."

1-1/2 HOURS BEFORE PARTY:

7. Prepare your food: "I sure hope that eggs are an optional ingredient. Oh well, it has lots of sugar and oil...good enough for me; good enough for a crowd of six year olds."

1 HOUR BEFORE PARTY:

8. Decide your activities: "Oh look at this awesome party planning website! It's full of all these fun, creative ideas. Too bad I don't have the materials to do them. Haha...it says here you're supposed to give yourself at least 4 weeks of planning time."

Cue the hysterical, maniacal laughter (everything's funnier under pressure you know). "Four weeks! Hahaha! Try an hour and four minutes!"

45 MINUTES BEFORE PARTY:

9. Run to nearest dollar store for balloons and some materials for those super fun activities: "Oh crap! When did this dollar store close down?"

40 MINUTES BEFORE PARTY:

10. Run to nearest CVS for balloons and some materials for those super fun activities: "What is wrong with your hands? Puh-lease let me tie the ribbons on those balloons myself. Don't you know I have eight six-year-olds coming to my house in half an hour?"

20 MINUTES BEFORE PARTY:

11. Make final preparations for party (an extremely loud voice is helpful at this stage): "Spence, vacuum quick! Emma, straighten the play room now! Adam, stuff the pinata! Cami, set the table! Ellie, please stop dumping out the barbies!"

PARTY BEGINNING:

12. Take deep breath and calmly welcome guests to your awesome party.