Sunday, January 2, 2011

A Real Life Story of Sweetness Gone Too Far

Once upon a time there was a woman who got an idea in her head that although her family had been making and enjoying graham cracker gingerbread houses for years, that it was time to become a real woman and bake gingerbread from scratch.  A week of being snowed in right around Christmas last year provided the perfect opportunity to try it.  It was fun.  Everyone liked it. 

This Christmas vacation she decided to try again.  Never mind that this year they were not snowed in so instead of leisurely days at home, her days were being spent as a chauffeur, errand runner, housemaid, and really lousy Mario Kart driver. 

As she raced through entire bags of flour and molasses by the quart, she soon realized that the gingerbread baking squeezed in between picking Spencer up, refereeing another quarrel, trying to make dinner, and dropping Cami off, just wasn't as much fun as she had remembered it being.   

By the time the houses were decorated with 8 lbs. of royal icing and an assortment of colorful candies, her entire dining room was caked with a sticky film that brought curse words to the woman's tongue. 

The woman's husband assured her that the extra work was worth it for their increased beauty over the easier graham cracker version, but alas the woman is sure that  although the memory of the hardened icing footprints leading out of the dining room will be slow to fade from her memory, that eventually the memory will fade.  

So  in an effort to prevent the pain of birthing gingerbread from scratch from slipping from her mind in a fog of sugary memories,  the woman decided to write all about it in a public forum along with a vow.  A vow that she will never again judge her own womanliness by whether she uses graham crackers,  homemade gingerbread, or even no gingerbread at all. 

The End.   

Notice the ornate house front and center in our little village?  That would be the woman's husband's house.  Who knew he was so artistic?



Deanne said...

We just did ours from graham crackers again this year. A big time saver and not as messy...but certainly not as cute as your from-scratch houses!

Where do you get those round boards to put them on?

Charlene said...

That is awesome!! We do not do gingerbread homes. After three years of unsuccessful gingerbread homes,our last time making them ended up with crying, fighting, arguing, and the kids staring at us!! :)

Andie said...

Three words. Zero stress. Wilton. House. Cutter. It's a package with a cookie cutter for each piece-a side, a front, and a roof. Make your dough, roll it out, and stamp the cutter twice onto the dough for each house. The pieces fit together like a dream. Way easier than cutting around pattern pieces with a knife. $8 at Jo-Ann and worth every penny. Last I checked here they were out of stock at the store but you can still find them on the website.

Denise said...

oh my word woman. you are insane. and a better woman than me. of course, we already knew that! xo

Katie said...

I'm so relieved to hear it. When I got your email offering fresh baked homes, I looked sadly my graham cracker ones, and felt like half a woman myself. Thank you, Real Life Story of Sweetness, for restoring my sense of self worth!

melissa said...

I'm still very impressed! good work!

annalisa said...

Those gingerbread houses are awesome!

annalisa said...

You rock!

Kellie said...

Laura, hey, so this is Chelsey's sister Kellie sneaking a peek at your blog to try and find some cookie recipe that Chelsey WILL NOT stop talking about. And after reading your whole life, because you are so entertaining to read, I'm still not sure what she loves. BUT I cannot believe you have a 15 year old, you got everyone to wear and then pose for a PJ Christmas photo, (or was that photo shopped too?) and your daughters are wonderful cake decorators, chefs, etc. What an adventure! Hope you had a wonderful holiday!

Matthew K said...

The PJ Christmas picture was not photo shopped. I was there when it was taken.

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