Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Vast Left-Winged Conspiracy

I'm an informed consumer. Really I am. Over the years of home ownership we have come across several appliances that have needed to be replaced and each time we have spent hours researching the best options...the price, quality, reliability, etc. We want to make sure we're spending our money wisely.

Inevitably we've always turned to good old faithful Consumer Reports for the bulk of our research. They [supposedly] have no affiliation with any company and do not accept advertising money or donations from companies of any sort, so they claim complete neutrality in their research. Sounds good to me.

So now after carefully purchasing FOUR Consumer Reports "Best Buy" deals--supposedly the highest quality for the fairest price--I'm here to tell you that it's all BUNK BUNK BUNK!

A fridge that has to be repaired 3 times in the first 6 months. {They never did officially call it a "lemon". We finally got so upset at throwing away entire fridge's worth of food every couple of months that we demanded a new one.}

A dishwasher that needs a new motor after less than a year of use. {They claimed that although only 11 months old, that based on our usage of 1-2 loads per day that it was technically more like 3-5 years old...since they expect the average consumer to do 2-3 loads per week.}

A washer that needed a repair exactly a year after purchase. {Luckily this was an easy fix.}

And now that replacement fridge is broken with a part that will take TWO WEEKS to arrive . {Another fridge worth of food gone, gone, gone.}

Where did we buy all these crappy hunks of junk? Yard sales? The dollar store? No...

Another old reliable.

So how did they get Sears get a good name for quality products selling this kind of poorly made junk? How did Consumer Reports become the gold standard for product reviews when everything they recommend falls apart in a year?

So here's my theory: I think that Consumer Reports and Sears aren't quite so independent of each other as they each claim. In addition to Sears slipping CR a commission for recommending their products as "CR Best Buys", I have learned that CR and Sears together have made a pact with the devil and are conspiring to collapse the US economy by letting evil appliances take over the world.

Now excuse me while I step back a century and go hang all my meat out in the smokehouse.


Andie said...

So sorry about your fridge. Where will you put your food?

Regarding the dishwasher...are there really people out there who run 2-3 loads per WEEK? Our new dishwasher's manual said the same thing about that being the average usage and I was puzzled-I usually run two loads a DAY.

Denise said...

Oh no!!! So sorry.

We do the same thing to our washer and dryer.

We use about 5 years worth in just 12 months.

Hence having to replace the water pump twice!!!

We are also consumer reports junkies...hummmm.

Charlene said...

good to know. We bought our minivan courtesy of Consumer reports, and now hoping it will last longer than usual.

C and Co. said...

This was hillarious. They don't make things like they used to. My mom had an old Maytag washer and dryer that ran for 30 years without any problems whatsoever. Sad state of affairs.

Steve-Rosanna said...

I think that Denise nailed it when she noted that they went through about five years worth of laundry in about twelve months. About typical for larger than normal LDS families.

Having said that, we have been pretty fortunate over the years with our applicances-having well over a decade on our fridge, w&d, etc. Although there was a point in time back in Minnesota where I got pretty adept at repairing broken appliances-one specific dryer on several different occasions. Figured it was better to learn how than to pay some HS dropout $75 an hour to come out-spend 15 minutes fixing it and gouge our checkbook.

Mom and I feel for you! Poor baby.

Deanne said...

I'm sorry you've had such bad luck. We usually rely on CR too and haven't had too many problems yet.

Although we haven't been in our house even a year yet. There's still time for that CR recommended frig of ours to break down! =)

Hope you can salvage at least some of your chilled goods. What a pain.

Matthew said...

I am coming over to eat some of your yummy food before it spoils. 1200 miles isn't too far to come for food, is it?

Kim said...

I'm so sorry!! That stinks! I will boycott Sears for you!! We will make a stand and send them spiraling down!

alexandra said...

When we remodeled our townhouse kitchen, we used all CR Best Buy appliances, and they were all from SEARS too! Needless to say, we've sworn off of Sears since. We worked on using the lemon law for our fridge as well (in our case, the repair guy would come out and not only NOT fix the fridge, but would break something else, like cut the line to the ice maker, all while leaving deep gouges in our new hardwood floors). Yeah, it's a conspiracy. I'll never set foot in a Sears as long as I live.

Oh, and then there was the time we had to replace the van engine after only 66,000 miles - another CR best buy that sucked over $6000 from our savings for a repair that no normal car should ever need.

You're right. It's a conspiracy. I bet they're actually responsible for the global financial crisis. How can you make your mortgage payments when you have to deal with all of these appliance malfunctions?

But if you'd like to use our chest freezer down in the basement (another CR best buy), feel free.

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