Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Reflections on Peace

It's hard to describe all that's gone through my mind since that first moment, two weeks ago today, when the pediatrician first uttered the word 'leukemia' to us.  I've had moments of sobbing panic when I let my mind dwell on some of the scary possibilities that may lie ahead for us.  Other times I just feel  a sense of mourning over the old life we used to take for granted.  A life where we our biggest concerns  revolved around homework, chores, and what was for dinner. Now we find ourselves muddling through talk of cytarabine side effects and other medical jargon we wish we could have stayed blissfully in the dark about.     

Looking back at the very beginning moments of this journey though,  when we were just beginning to glimpse the unknown paths ahead,  we have recognized the hand of God at every turn, even in the very timing of his diagnosis.

Just as I can hardly turn a corner without a set of arms enveloping me in a hug lately, we literally feel that we have the arms of God and an entire community around us every step of the way.  Though we do occasionally have those dark moments where we find ourselves faltering, overall we have felt a pervading sense of peace that no matter where this journey takes us, that we will be okay.   Not that it will be easy or not be filled with heart-wrenching, difficult moments as we watch our son endure pain, but that at the end of it all, that we will be okay...even better people for having lived through it. 


So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.


K said...

Thanks for making me cry AGAIN! Love to all of you!

patty said...

I hope (and pray) that your moments of darkness and despair are few, and that when they come they give way to a deep sense of peace. We love the Goolds, and we admire you beyond what our words can say.

Rebecca Wolthuis said...

Love the updates and I especially love this photo of them walking the halls. Her expression, him listening, This photo = LOVE :)

clarsen said...

Thanks for the updates! You guys are AWESOME! Hang in there.

Andie said...

Lara, thanks for taking the time to post and keep us all updated. I can only imagine the sense of mourning for your family you must go through at times. But it's obvious that the times of peace and gratitude you are experiencing in the middle of such a trial are the ones that shine through. I wonder if you truly know what an amazing example of faith you are to me...and probably to hundreds or thousands of other people as well.

We love you guys; it is a privilege to pray for your family.

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